


Sunblossom

by kuresoto



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Celebrate the Waking, Dreams, F/M, False Memories, First Kiss, Inception AU, Mind Manipulation, Reylo Fanfiction Anthology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-12-22 03:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11959164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuresoto/pseuds/kuresoto
Summary: “It’s my son. I need you to help my son from doing something he will regret. I’m coming to you as a mother to help my child.Please, help my son.”-When Rey stumbles upon the rare ability to cross into another’s dreams, the last thing she expects is to be propositioned by Leia Organa, the sole person she tried to steal from. The plan is simple: go into Ben Solo's dreams and find out what is the source of his turmoil. However, plans are just guidelines, and getting attached,muchmore than she should, was never part of the plan.





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very very much to the mods at [Reylo Fanfiction Anthology](http://reylofanfictionanthology.tumblr.com/) for organising yet another stunning collection. Your hard work is always appreciated and I'm always grateful for your guidence and friendship. Thank you to the two mods who looked at my fic, [Vivien](http://shelikespretties.tumblr.com/) and [Alexandra](https://politicalmamaduck.tumblr.com/), and to my hoes, [alphabetizingsins](http://alphabetizingsins.tumblr.com/) and [articianne](http://articianne.tumblr.com/), for helping me bring this fic to fruition. 
> 
> Inception is one of my favorite movies so I hope my fic stays true to the concept of inception whilst being feasible within the Star Wars universe.
> 
> This fic is based off meta by sathari on dreamwidth [here](http://sathari.dreamwidth.org/436716.html) and [here](http://sathari.dreamwidth.org/433676.html). Such a good fucking READ.
> 
>  
> 
> [Also, here's an aesthetic I made](http://kuresoto.tumblr.com/post/161729795653/mirrorbright-shines-the-moon-its-glow-as-soft-as)
> 
>  
> 
> [Masterpost of all the fics and e-book/pdf here](https://reylofanfictionanthology.tumblr.com/post/165901067402/presenting-celebrate-the-waking-the-2017-reylo)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey waited in line like she had so many times before. It had been a long day. The scorching Jakku sun had done its job, but she considered herself lucky; she was able to find just enough parts to call it a day and return to Niima Outpost before the sun had even made it past noon. Now, at the end of a long line and after she painstakingly cleaned her couplings and calcinators, she was looking forward to retreating back to the sanctuary of her AT-AT.

A man in front of her huffed and complained in an alien language, annoyed at the how long it was taking him to exchange his goods for food. Rey fought the urge to roll her eyes; being stranded on the desert planet for most of her life and scavenging for the junk boss of Jakku was not new to Rey. Being nineteen years of age, to Rey’s guess at least, meant that she was one of the younger scavengers reporting to Unkar Plutt, but age did not matter. Too often had she been cheated out of rations from rival scavengers by having her goods stolen or from the unfairness of Plutt alone.

The line moved forward until she was next up. The sun was almost setting so there was a long line behind her, all eager to get their rations and retire for the day. Despite being the junk boss of Jakku with henchmen to do his bidding, the area where Plutt had set up his concession stand was woefully cramped for the amount of scavengers over which he ruled. The large Crolute had bought out or beaten up any competition at Niima Outpost, the only inhabitable point of interest on Jakku due to the only navigational grid being present there, giving Plutt monopoly over all the scavengers and anyone who inevitably ended up on Jakku.

The people behind her started to become impatient. Rey was jostled by the crowd behind her, her feet stumbled forward, smacking her into the man at the front of the line. The man shoved her back and threw her a glare before returning to his bartering with Plutt. With the crowd behind her shoving at any given moment, Rey tried her best to stand her ground and couldn’t help but overhear the amount of rations that were given to the man.

Three rations! Rey looked down at her shiny machine parts and her chest expanded with hope. Her last few findings had resulted in less than _one_ portion given back for her work and her clawing stomach pains were starting to bother her. Hopefully today would result in better fortune.

“Next.”

The concession stand window suited the tall Crolute’s height, so Rey had to stand on her toes to dump the cleaned parts onto the bench before Plutt. She was tall enough to see the Blobfish inspect each part, his thick fingers bringing her scavenged bits close to his squashed face and turning them over as if to find a fault in her works. Plutt hummed, a frown pulled down on his bloated face as he went through the five parts laid out before him. He took longer than Rey was used to, making beads of sweat roll down her back. There was a giggle behind her as one of the other scavengers tittered about how she had failed.

“Half a portion.”

Rey snapped at the junk boss, heart beating fast and heat rising to her face. “But you gave the man before me three!”

“Half a portion and that is final,” said Plutt, not caring for the desperation that was creeping onto Rey’s face.

“But you’ve given me half a portion for a week! These are worth more than that! There’s nothing wrong with them!”

“You dare argue with me, girl?” Plutt’s flat face twisted into a grimace. “You remember what happens to people who argue with me, don’t you?”

Rey’s mouth closed with a snap, her eyes glancing at the thugs that loitered off to the side of Plutt’s stand; she remembered all too well what happened to anyone who had the gall to cross the junk boss. Her hand moved and unconsciously cupped the area under her ribcage. “No,” she started slowly. “I remember.”

She reached for her meager portion when Plutt’s monstrous hand slapped against her own. “On second thought, there is something you can do if you want more rations.”

He didn’t need to explain any further to understand what he was asking. Knowing that if she accepted, Plutt would close his concession stand and deny anyone else their chance at bartering. Remembering the taunts of the other scavengers in the line, Rey curled her fingers around the small thin packet and ripped her hand from the Crolute. The portion crinkled in her grasp but she didn’t pay any mind to it. “Who is it?” she asked.

“There’s a Teedo just west of the outpost. Deal with him and you will get more rations—”

“Five,” Rey interrupted. She glared up at him, unblinking.

Plutt grunted. “Three.”

Rey’s stomach gurgled but not loud enough for Plutt to hear. Her face remained stoic. “Five or you can try your luck with the others.”

The snarl that morphed on Plutt’s face was enough for Rey. “You’re treading on dangerous grounds, _girl_.”

“You wouldn’t be telling me about the Teedo if you weren’t desperate,” Rey snapped. “You’re lucky I don’t demand seven rations.” She knew she was pushing her luck with her impudence but five was fair for what he was asking of her.

Plutt sneered and looked thoughtful, but Rey already knew she had won. “Fine. Five portions if you are successful by the time the moon is halfway through the night.”

“And if I fail?”

Plutt roared with laughter, making the others in the line to look at the pair in curiosity. “Girl, you won’t.”

The ration in Rey’s hand had long since been crushed. She pressed her lips into a thin line, teeth gnawing the inside of her mouth in anger, before darting out of the crowded concession stand towards her speeder. She vaguely heard Plutt bellow out ‘stand is closed!’, followed by the chorus of moans and a few shouts of anger, but she didn’t care; the sun had already started to set.

True to Plutt’s word, there was a camp set up on the western outskirts of the outpost. Only faint blurs of light remained in the sky by the time she reached her destination. Not wanting to waste any time, Rey jumped off her speeder and trudged through the soft sand towards the camp. She hated doing jobs for Plutt, but it was a small price to pay if it meant that she would get _five rations_. Maker, she couldn’t remember the last time she got so many.

She stabbed her quarterstaff into the sand by the entrance and ducked into the tent without so much of announcing her presence. Expecting the Teedo to charge at her, Rey was pleasantly surprised when nothing but soft snores reached her ears. He was asleep.

Rey’s shoulders sagged at the situation. She needed the creature to be awake to successfully find out what Plutt wanted. Surveying the cramped tent with minimal lighting, Rey figured she might as well rummage around. If she was lucky, maybe she would find the goods the Teedo stole from Plutt without needed to resort to such dire measures.

Teedo was a scavenger like the rest, only he scavenged more than just parts but anything that crossed his path. It was almost akin to hoarding, what with the amount of useless junk that littered the already cramped tent. Rey tried her best to not make a sound, tip toeing around objects strewn across the sandy floor. She lifted her feet high over the sleeping creature, giving him wide berth lest she woke him, but suddenly, Teedo rolled over snagged her ankle.

The shock of his leathery hand made her whip around, ready to incapacitate the Teedo, but froze when her surroundings morphed into something else. No longer was she in a small run down tent, but in an open area covered in sand. She recognised the place. It was one of the first scavenger points she found. Since then, the scavenge site had gone dry of anything to harvest but it looked different to Rey. It looked like how she first saw it, all those years ago. As she trekked through the sand, her feet sank under the loose grains and felt hard objects beneath her sole. The site was still rich with parts.

She was so confused. How did she get here?

By her feet were small foot-shaped indentations in the sand leading towards a large metallic structure, a structure that Rey knew to be rusted and decrepit, but was nowhere near the state she last remembered. Since there was nothing else she could do, Rey followed the trail, head spinning at the idea that she somehow travelled through time and into the past. Upon reaching the large structure, she could make out a small form: her target, the Teedo, hurriedly shoving objects into his knapsack.

“Teedo?”

The reptilian turned around and screamed in Teedospeak, voice distorted slightly from his mask. Suddenly, sand started falling from the crevices around her, as if the structure was falling apart. The ground beneath rumbled and Rey staggered backwards. Teedo continued to scream nonsensical words at her, pointing a staff in her direction until the structure was ripped off the ground. Sunlight stabbed into Rey, her hands coming up to shield herself from the sudden glares. She could just make out a large Luggabeast above her, but it was larger than she had ever seen. It towered over her, its large flat face breathing down at her and making the sand dance around them.

Hard sand met her backside as she fell backwards, somehow trying to get away from the monster, but then the Luggabeast reared back on its hind legs before all its weight came crashing down on her.

It happened in a split second. One moment, she was in in the desert and the next, she was back in the tent, lying on her side, with an angry - awake - Teedo next to her.

The reptilian scavenger was in shock as much as she was. He sputtered, confused as he screamed in rage. He kicked at her before making a beeline for the exit.

Rey braced herself for impact, but was flung to the side by the Teedo’s desperation to escape. Her back smacked into one of his many trunks, but she barely felt it. She was too distracted by her sudden change in scenery, along with her target escaping, to realise what had happened; she couldn’t afford to let the Teedo get away. She sprinted out of the tent and grabbed her quarterstaff along the way. As much as the Teedo tried to outrun her, his small legs were no match for Rey. She leapt with her staff in her hand, slicing the air so it smacked the side of the Teedo’s head with a harsh thud.

Rey struck the Teedo again before pointing her staff into his chest, the point digging into the thick clothing that wrapped around its body. “Where is it?” Rey demanded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Teedo said, in his native language.

“Plutt sent me to you,” she screamed in Teedospeak. “There’s no use hiding it. Don’t make this hard for yourself. Tell me where it is!”

“No!”

“Please! I don’t want to do this!” Rey begged.

“Then leave me be!” Teedo struggled, trying to stand up, but his short legs and two-toed feet could not find a steady footing to get up.

“Kriff,” Rey swore, hand reaching out to the Teedo but still standing over him. “Give it to me.” Hand hovering, her fingers curled, as if she were grasping something invisible. The Teedo let out a shrill cry but it did nothing to deter Rey. She needed to be fed and he stole from Plutt. No one stole from Plutt.

Teedo’s mind was like tangled mess, but Rey quickly discerned patterns to find what she wanted. The further she pushed into his mind, the less structured and protected it became. “Where is it?” Rey gritted out, not breaking contact with his two black eyes.

As expected, Teedo tried to hide the location of the stolen goods and tried to think of anything to fool Rey. She watched as he frantically brought different images to the forefront of his mind, all mind numbing activities that would normally bore Rey. A particular scene made her freeze; it was of her but she was looking through his eyes. The metallic structure was exactly like she saw a new moments ago, roars of his Luggabeast above him. It was surreal, seeing herself cower under the shadow of the Luggabeast as it bore down on her. Just as she experienced, the scene cut as the two heavy feet of the Luggabeast stomped on her.

Rey’s fingers dug into his thick skin. “What was that?” she gritted out, a snarl on her face as Teedo screamed at her.

“It’s just a dream!” The Teedo smacked her wrist repeatedly. It was futile—her grip was a vice and she wasn’t going to let him go.

“A dream?”

Her face must have looked truly horrifying as the noises from the Teedo only became more panicked. He struggled under her, his mind going at lightspeed until Rey caught what she was looking for. The more he tried to hide it, the sloppier he became.

Rey caught what she was looking for zooming past her and plucked it from his mind. She released her hold over him, both mentally and physically, and retreated back to her speeder without another word. Teedo cried and screamed into the night behind her but she didn’t care; if she left now then she would get back to Niima Outpost with some time to spare. The stabbing pains in her stomach served as a reminder of what she needed.

By the time she got back to Unkar Plutt, the moon was high in the sky and a good portion of the evening had passed. She immediately went to the metal cabin near the concession stand and pushed past two of Plutt’s thugs; they didn’t stop her, knowing she was returning from a job.

It didn’t take long to find Plutt, what with the inside not being overly large. Rey stuck her hand out, looking at Plutt expectantly and said, “North of Cratertown, between a large shrivelled tree and the main path.”

“Cratertown,” Plutt repeated. Rey nodded and remained waiting for her rations. “Let’s hope you are right.”

Rey still held her hand out. “I’m always right.”

Plutt let out a loud, boisterous laugh. “Here.” He threw five small packets at Rey and hobbled out, calling for his thugs to follow him.

Rey quickly got down and scooped up her precious rations. To Plutt, they were mere currency but to Rey, they were her everything.

By the time she reached her AT-AT, she was more than ready to call to put the day behind her. She forced her body to crumble a pack of her rations into some water for a piece of bread to form and then quickly inhaled the morsel, forcing it down, knowing that her stomach would not agree with it later. She hadn’t eaten properly in days, so anything was going to be a shock to her system.

As she collapsed in her makeshift bed, she glanced to the side of her home—a wall of lines to document how long she had been on Jakku, a small brown and orange doll by her bed, and an X-Wing helmet against which her doll was propped up. Her eyes grew heavy, but was slightly scared of what she would see in her dreams.

She hoped that Teedo’s mind wouldn’t come up in her dreams, the thick lines of his tangled brain adding to the others she had looked into for Plutt, but she knew it would haunt her. If not his mind then the realistic vision of her being stomped upon by a giant Luggabeast. She still didn’t know what that was, and Teedo telling her it was his dream only confused her further. She was too exhausted to understand what had happened.

As she turned over and tried to sleep, she knew that when she awoke, Jakku would have one less Teedo inhabiting it.

 


	2. The Job

Jakku, a remote desert planet in the western reaches of the galaxy’s Inner Rim, was something out of nightmares. There were no navigational or communication grids easily accessible to the hot, sandy planet’s inhabitants. Anyone who had the misfortune of visiting never did so voluntarily. Throughout Rey’s life, she saw three different types of people on Jakku: people who escaped debts, people who crash landed, and people who were left there to make a new life. However, anyone who came to Jakku to start a new life must have done so out of sheer desperation; Rey couldn’t believe anyone would choose the desert planet if they had the option of staying on any other planet in the galaxy.

As the young woman dangled from the bundle of ropes attached to the ceiling of a derelict Star Destroyer, she pondered over how her life came to be on Jakku. She barely remembered anything from her childhood. It wasn’t a new thing for Rey to try and recall anything that happened prior to her being surrounded by sand and heat. All she knew was how to scavenge enough scrap bits of metal to barter for a measly portion from Jakku’s junk boss.

As the years passed and she gained cognition, Rey became more restless about her life. There was no way she was just _born on Jakku_. No, she couldn’t have been. There was no one around that could possibly be her parents, and despite Plutt being the only person she could even associate as a parent, it was unlikely for him to raise her out of the goodness of his heart. Rey snorted at the idea of Plutt having anything but greed and selfishness in his thick waste of a body. Whenever she tried to ask him about her past, all he replied with was, “You’re mine. There’s nothing else to discuss.”

Rey frowned at the idea itself. How could she belong to him? Who gave her to him? Who even had the _right_ to just pass her off to him, like she was no one? Rey huffed, the familiar heat rising to her face as she reached across the unsteady skeleton of the Star Destroyer to obtain usable materials. She may be no one, but that was because she was stuck on the desert wasteland of Jakku. If she could get off the planet, _somehow_ , then she knew she could find out about her past. Her parents must be out there; they had to be. Something must have happened to them. Maybe they were waiting for Rey to find them, but it always seemed the best option to stay on Jakku, just in case they _did_ come back. Maybe…

The thought faded to the back of her mind as Rey lowered herself back to the ground, her worn boots echoing as she jumped onto the floor of  the abandoned ship. No one dared to come to the place known as the Starship Graveyard but her. No one else wanted to risk the sudden sandstorms or instability of the hulking wreckage. Rey thanked the stars for her nimble form. She was the only one who dared the dangers, and because of her small frame, no one believed that she could navigate the wreckage, much less salvage anything from it. It had been some time since she was ambushed by jealous scavengers, but Rey assumed it was because her parts fetched her far less than those of anyone else.

Like clockwork, she sped back to Niima Outpost and set about cleaning her findings until they shone in the sun. She was getting into the second chunk of metal when two strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back. She let out a surprised scream, legs flailing in all directions as she tried to fight and break free from her foe’s hold. Before she could get a look at her opponent, a scratchy sack was shoved over her head and blocked her vision.

From what she could tell, there were two people who had dragged her from the cleaning station. Judging from the grunts of her captors, they were sent by Plutt to retrieve her. Rey continued to struggle, annoyance more than anything driving her. If Plutt wanted to talk to her, he didn’t need to go to the extent of _kidnapping her_.

After what felt like an eternity, Rey was roughly pushed onto her knees, her hands coming up to rip off the sack from her head immediately. Just as she suspected, Unkar Plutt stood over her with two of his thugs on either side of him. Rey’s brows knitted together; the sun was still high in the sky, so who was manning the concession stand?

“I have a job for you.”

The incident with the Teedo was still fresh in her mind, too recent for Rey’s liking. “I’m not—” Before Rey could even object, small flat packets of plastic came raining down over her. She blinked, unsure if her eyes were deceiving her or not. There must have been thirty rations, at least! What was so important and paramount that Plutt would pay her that much for _one job_?

Taking in her speechlessness, Plutt grinned in malice. “There’s more where that came from if you do this for me.”

With shaking hands, Rey palmed the rations, as if they would disappear at a moment's notice. “What do you want me to do?” she found herself asking, mind too preoccupied with the idea of not starving for days on end.

“I got word that we have a rather unexpected visitor on Jakku. She landed earlier today in a ship that is far too powerful to have experienced malfunctions in order to stop here. Judging by her clothes, she’s from some Inner Core World. Find out everything you can about her. I want her darkest secrets, but you need to do it in a way so she doesn’t know what you’ve done.” Rey protested immediately, but Plutt merely ploughed on. “You’re resourceful, girl. If you do this, I guarantee you won’t have to scavenge for a full moon cycle.”

Rey gaped at the Crolute. She wanted to tell him that he was insane. “You know that I can’t do this. What I do…” Rey waved her hands around her. “Do you even know what I do to get the information you want? Do you even _understand_ what happens?”

“Do you think I care, little girl?”

“I’m not some little girl anymore!” She jumped to her feet and despite their height differences, Rey glared daggers into the larger being. “You’re asking for too much! You’re asking for the impossible!”

“No, I’m not. All you need to do is pluck her secrets from her and destroy her mind so that she is none the wiser.” The ugly grin on Plutt’s face only fueled Rey’s anger.

“I’m not some thug like you. I’m not some _murderer_ like you.”

The deep bellied laugh only unnerved Rey. “Girl, I’m not asking you to kill anyone. I just need an incentive for this Inner Core woman to provide everything I ask.”

“You want me to destroy her mind. I’m not doing that.”

Plutt grabbed Rey and pulled her close, forcing his face uncomfortably close to hers. He lifted her off the ground so that the tips of her toes barely brushed against the dusty floor. “You better find a way to get me what I want or you best not return,” he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically soft that it made her skin pimple. “You could find the best parts for me and I still wouldn’t give you anything. The other scavengers would be forbidden to help you. You would die on this waste of a rock, before anyone could even find you. You will truly be _no one_.”

His last two sentences caught Rey unaware. Blood rushed to her face at his insinuation and before she could even consider her actions, her fist connected with the side of his meat head. He dropped her with a roar, blood spilling from his nose and dripping down the front of his face.

Tumbling to the ground, Rey quickly scuttled backwards and ran out of the tent they kept her in, dodging his two thugs along the way. As she ran, Plutt’s screams turned into cackles, a laughter she couldn’t block out. Before she was out of earshot, she heard his last words.

“She is at the Starship Graveyard! Your _favorite_ place!”

Rey let out a string of curses and rushed to her speeder. She passed through the cleaning area, unable to stop, but she felt the stares bore into the back of her head. They had heard the scuffle, it would be hard not to, and most probably assumed the worst, that she was banished from Nima Outpost. Rey ground her teeth together as she slapped her goggles over her eyes; she would show them not to underestimate her. The looks on their faces when she returned successful and full of rations was enough to keep her going. She would show them all that she wasn't one to be taken lightly.

Halfway to the Graveyard, she heard a familiar roar of a beat-up engine. Rey turned around, squinting behind her goggles and made out the silhouette of a ship that was used by Plutt and his thugs. They must have been sent to keep at eye on her, to report back the inevitable failure that they expected. She scoffed, a low grumble from the base of her throat. They weren’t even trying to hide.

Rey focused her attention back to the mission at hand. She had to go into her target’s mind without leaving her footprint behind. It wasn’t often, but every now and then, Plutt would send her to read people’s minds, pull secrets past their closed lips, and compel them to tell the truth. She didn’t know when it all started, but at some point in her youth when she didn’t know any better, she inadvertently read Plutt’s mind. Her being a child, Rey merely responded to Plutt’s thoughts, not realising that Plutt’s mouth hadn’t moved. From that point on, Plutt would call upon her talents when needed, but not too often in case word got out. To her knowledge, only the inhabitants of Jakku knew of her powers, most not believing the rumors. Sometimes a stray scavenger would take a gamble and Rey would be summoned. The more stubborn they were, the more likely they would go directly to Rey. Why waste energy on bloodying fists when Rey could slip in and rip the information right from their minds?

There were times where Rey briefly entertained the idea of escaping Jakku by using her powers, but with no money and nowhere to go, Rey squashed the idea almost immediately. Times were tough, but as twisted as it was, Rey was comfortable to a certain degree. She was good at scavenging and good at stealing secrets. Rey knew to a certain extent that Plutt was manipulating her, purposely underpaying her rations so that she would be forced to accept jobs, but the rations she got from mind reading were more than enough to make up for a few days of starvation. It was worth the pain, or so she kept telling herself.

Thinking of all the times she starved, Rey pondered on how she was going to infiltrate her target’s mind. She wasn’t going to do it how Plutt wanted. No, that was out of the question. She would not reduce herself to the likes of him. So, then how?

Dusk was rapidly falling when Rey parked her speeder by a decrepit Star Destroyer. She pulled off her goggles and took a swig out of her cannister before surveying the graveyard around her. The Starship Graveyard was massive, so being told that she had to find a ship amongst the debris was little use to her. She hopped back on her speeder and cruised around. The loud rumbling of Plutt’s thugs faded into the distance until their noises mixed with the sigh of sand.

Sweat started to roll down the back of her neck as half the sun disappeared over the horizon. There was no point in worrying about how to steal secrets if she couldn’t even find the kriffing ship in the first place. Just as the last of light dipped over the skyline, a glimmer caught her eye. She pulled her speeder to a harsh stop, with nothing but her panting and her engine audible as darkness fell. It was barely distinguishable, but it was there.

There.

A ship made of a reflective material, taking in the sand colored surroundings and using it as camouflage. It was ingenious and served as a warning to Rey. The person was not only an Inner Core inhabitant, but also someone very wealthy or important, to have a ship of such caliber at their disposal.

Leaving her speeder by a nearby ship carcass, Rey started her journey to the ship in question. The fabric wrapped around her quarterstaff muffled any squeaks as she she gripped it tightly, using it as leverage to make sure she didn’t make a sound.

The inside of the ship was as she expected, clean with crisp filtered air being fed through the ventilation. The ship wasn’t designed for extended space travel, so there weren’t any side rooms besides the cockpit and personal bunk that Rey guessed was near the cockpit. She couldn’t even rummage through any personal effects since the ship seemed so barren and empty. Even her small AT-AT had more sentimental belongings.

The ship was docked and resting on the sand, engines completely off and cold. Rey wondered how long the Inner Core person had been on Jakku as she placed a hand on the cool dashboard. She quickly surveyed the settings and found no malfunctions. Had her target come to Jakku to explore? Rey chortled at the idea. No one in their right mind would explore Jakku if they had a functioning ship.

She still hadn’t checked the bunk. Rey had passed it on the way to the cockpit, but with a durasteel door warding it, she continued and decided to leave it to the end. If her target was on board, they would be in their bunk. Blowing a long sigh, she turned to the direction of the sleeping quarters.

There was a control panel by the door. With a spark of genius, Rey carefully jimmied the panel off the wall and fiddled with the wires, changing and disabling the settings of the door so when opened, it was completely silent.

And thus, Rey found herself standing over a slumbering woman with greying hair. Like the rest of the ship, there were bare essentials, all shiny and chrome with no personality. Rey had thought she could possibly glean something from the woman’s personal belongings, but that was useless. There was nothing to even look at. The unknown woman laid on a firm looking cot, edges of silver to match the walls, with a thin blanket draped over her body.

Unsure of what to do, Rey propped herself by the wall. Was she meant to just wake her up and take the secrets from her head? She couldn’t do that. The woman had faint worry lines etched across her face, still apparent even in her sleep. She reminded her of a woman she once saw on Jakku, hugging a small boy at Niima Outpost. The woman had ruffled the boy’s hair and held him close, smiles on their faces as herself as a child watched on in envy.

The memory caught Rey by surprise. She almost made a sound, hand clapped over her mouth to muffle her gasp at the emotions the memory brought. Family. A foreign concept and yet, something her heart yearned for.

Rey peeked at the still woman through her strands of hair that fell over her face. She looked so peaceful. The last time she saw someone sleep was when she snuck into the Teedo’s tent, but his sleeping figure brought none of those familial emotions.

The Teedo.

With shallow breaths, too scared to take a deep breath, Rey silently shuffled closer to the woman until her shadow fell over the figure. Her hand was shaking, hovering over the woman’s shoulder, unsure if it was the best thing to do. Thinking back to what happened with Teedo, maybe she could replicate what she had done back then. Maybe, just maybe, she could go into the woman’s dreams and gather knowledge from there.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Only one way to know.

Rey inhaled deeply through her nostrils before placing a hand on the sleeping woman’s shoulders.

 


	3. The Music Box

The room in which Rey found herself was unlike anything she had seen before. It was large and circular, seats upon seats lining the rim so they were facing a podium in the centre of the room. There wasn’t much light; only the podium was illuminated and three figures surrounded it. Rey was too far to hear what they were talking about, only hushed whispers echoing in the auditorium, so she crept forward. She kept to the shadows and ducked between the seats, paranoid that she would be seen. One of the figures, the now awake woman, excused herself and hurried to the opposite end of the hall.

Ignoring the remaining two, Rey broke out into a sprint, not overly caring if she was seen as her target disappeared out of the side door. When Rey reached the same door, she gripped the door jamb, peaking around the corner to find the woman. There was a long, wide path right outside with light posts on either side of the walkway. There was no one around, save for the woman, traveling on an automated sidewalk and fading from sight.

Rey followed the woman with relaxed shoulders, trying to pretend as if it wasn’t the first time she had seen an automated walkway. She rested her hand on the railing, relishing the soft thrum of automation under her palm. There was no reason for any suspicion to be drawn to her so she kept a safe distance from the woman, languidly taking in her surroundings and enjoying the change in scenery.

The walkway was suspended high in the sky with numerous buildings under it. Rey had never seen such architecture; the buildings were made of whole alloys, not unlike the rusted scraps she salvaged throughout her life.

 _So, that's what they're supposed to look like_ , Rey thought to herself, face forward but eyes still taking in the bright buildings and smooth surfaces. It looked like the woman’s ship belonged to this world, the same shiny design apparent everywhere she looked.

After a few minutes, the woman turned into a connecting building. The structure looked similar to the one she just left, tall and foreboding with its tip disappearing into the clouds. It had a sense of formality that was unseen on Jakku.

From outside, Rey saw the woman bypass the front desk and proceed further into the building. From what she could see, there wasn’t anyone in the foyer and judging by the darkness, Rey doubted that there was anyone else inside. Without a second thought, Rey stepped through the glass doors and continued in the direction she last saw the woman go.

The interior of the new building was the same style as the auditorium, metal panels making up the walls and dark velvet carpet lining the floors. It almost felt royal. And the atmosphere was warm, a different warm to how it was on Jakku. Here, it just felt...different. Like she could relax and unwind. The thought itself made Rey snap to reality, tension seeping into her bones at the idea of becoming comfortable in such an unknown environment.

There was a single crack of light at the end of the hall that pulled her from her thoughts. Sliding closer to the brightness, her ears twitched and picked up someone speaking. It was distinctly male. Figuring that the woman was with someone, Rey pressed herself against the wall outside the room, hidden from sight but ears straining to hear what was being said.

“ _You’ve never expressed much interest in knowing about your birth parents. So many times, you’ve told your mother and me we are the only father and mother you’ve ever needed—and never doubt how much that means to us both. But Leia, the story of your origin is one you must know. You were hidden with us, for your own safety, and for that of your brother. Yes, you have a twin brother, though you must not seek him until the war has ended, and both Palpatine and Lord Vader have been defeated._ ” *

Palpatine? Lord Vader? Rey stood outside with tightly knitted brows. She recognised those names. There were two Wookiees she had met at Niima Outpost who had told her stories of their companion, Chewbacca, and his smuggling partner in crime, Han Solo.

Despite being on a remote planet all her life, she knew of the Empire and the war. It was hard to live your life scavenging from the remnants of a battle without knowing the history behind it. She knew that the galaxy used to be under the control of the Galactic Empire, ruled by Emperor Palpatine, with the Sith Lord, Darth Vader, at his side. She heard different stories regarding what had happened prior to her birth; some distrusted the Jedi and were supportive of the Galactic Empire, while others were glad that the reign of Emperor Palpatine was over. She didn’t know the exact details of what had transpired but from what she heard from the Wookiees, Chewbacca and Han Solo helped overthrow the unfair government.

Some bits of the tale they regaled almost sounded like a fairytale. The Force? People who could wield it and bring peace to the galaxy? When she had asked Plutt about it, he merely laughed in her face for believing in such stories. Despite being able to read minds, the idea of Jedi and Sith were still unimaginable to her.

Before Rey could contemplate further, the voice inside the room continued speaking to the one she assumed to be Leia.

“ _I must tell you what became of Anakin Skywalker. Your father has become Darth Vader_.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. She clutched her hands over her mouth, in case any sound escaped her lips. A memory niggled at the back of her mind. Something had happened a few years ago, must have been five or six years since she first heard of a scandal within the Core Worlds and the New Republic from offworlders.

“ _If so, this recording can serve only one purpose. You must be listening after my death, so let this be my chance to say once again how much I love you. No other daughter could ever have brought me more joy. Please know that my love for you, and your mother’s love, endures long past our deaths. We are forever with you, Leia. In your brightest triumphs and your darkest troubles, always know that we are by your side_.”

A long silence fell, followed by a small click. Rey carefully glimpsed around the corner. Inside was the same woman on the ship, dressed in royal blue robes, her greying hair pinned together in a bun with a frown on her face. The same frown that was apparent even in her sleep. Leia, Rey continued to assume, held a small item in her hands, unmoving and deep in thought. Rey did a quick survey of the room but found that there was no one else. No male she had just heard speak. Just Leia.

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember..._

Rey’s eyes darted around, trying to pinpoint the origin of the soft melody that filled the room.

_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember..._

It came from a small mirrored, hexagonal object in Leia’s hand - a music box. Leia turned slightly so her back was facing Rey, a sad sigh escaping her lips as the song continued. She caressed the box, fingers barely ghosting over the edges.

_Those you have loved but are gone…_

Rey felt a twang in her chest at the words, mind fluttering to the blank space in her memory where her parents should have been. There was no one to fill the void. Instead, Plutt’s ugly mug came to mind at the idea of ‘parents’. Horrified, Rey squeezed her eyes shut and willed her mind to banish the idea that the Crolute was anything but a junk boss.

_Those who kept you so safe and warm…_

Peeling her eyes open once Plutt dissipated from her thoughts, Rey lifted her head slightly to take in the moonlight that fell across the older woman. Then, as if in slow motion, Rey’s eyes moved up to the mirrored box and connected with a set of brown ones. Shock washed over, freezing her in her place.

_The mirrorbright moon lets you see…_

Neither made a sound, each not knowing what to do. When the shock subsided, the panic that set in forced Rey to pull her eyes away from the pair that seemed to stare into her soul. With sweaty palms, she flew down the hall as fast as her legs could carry her, not daring to look back.

“Stop!”

She ignored the yell behind her, jumping over the front desk and through the front doors.

_Those who have ceased to be Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers…_

As she ran down the automated walkway, she still heard the song echoing outside, as if they were blasted directly into her ears. The once deserted path was suddenly occupied by various people in black robes. Despite all of them looking at her, she couldn’t see their faces clearly. Once by one, they started to follow her.

_Those you loved are with you still—_

In a futile attempt to stop her, a few lept onto the automated walkway and chased after her. Rey looked over her shoulder, making sure that they didn’t get too close. That was her undoing. When she faced forward again, a crowd appeared before her and blocked her path. Seeing no other choice, Rey darted to the side off the walkway and barrelled into what seemed like hundreds of people. Being small, she thought she could slip through. She was wrong.

She struggled against the firm grip on her arms, legs kicking wildly to escape. Even though she was preoccupied with trying to rip herself from their clutches, her eyes narrowed as the woman glided towards her. The crowd parted before her, allowing for Leia to approach her unhindered.

“Who are you?” Leia asked, only a few steps from Rey.

She couldn’t answer. She _wouldn’t_ , so with the last of her energy, Rey swung her head back, a resounding _crack!_ of a nose breaking echoing in her head. The hands that held her in a vice grip disappeared, allowing for Rey to slip away before another pair of hands could grab ahold of her. She swung heavy punches around her, not realising how close to the edge of the walkway platform she was. With her arms flapping around in futility, Rey caught the serious look on Leia’s face, right before her foot slipped off the platform. Leia remained completely still, neither saying a single word as Rey clawed the air frantically, or moving to help her. She just kept her eyes on the scavenger, watching her every move until she disappeared over the edge.

As she fell, Rey caught sight of the woman peering over the edge, watching her plummet several levels to the ground. Rey’s clothes whipped around her, stray fabric tangling around her legs and doing nothing to ease her panic—her mouth was open in a silent scream as her throat contracted and heart seized in her chest. Her arms flailed about helplessly, if not pawing at her throat then in a hopeless attempt to stop her descent.

As she fell towards the city below, the lullaby continued to sing to her.

_The moon will help you remember..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Music box quote and Mirrorbright song direct from Bloodline by Claudia Gray


	4. The Request

“Who are you?”

Leia’s words snapped Rey back to reality. It was just her and Leia, in the confines of the cold room where Leia sat upright in her bed. Rey stared at the fingers wrapped around her wrist, wide eyed and unable to move.

“Who are you?” repeated Leia, more insistent.

Rey tried to say something, her mouth opening and closing with like a stunned animal, but no words came out.

“Do you know what you just did?”

Barely, but she wasn’t going to let her know that, not that she needed to. Leia sounded like she knew more than Rey did at her recently discovered abilities. The idea that this person, the daughter of Darth Vader, had looked her in the eye within the dream, with the same stare she had now, was too much. Rey snatched her arm from her grip. “I-I have to go.”

The irony of the situation was not lost to her. She was the one who stole into Leia’s dreams and yet, it was like Rey was the one who was being hunted. She staggered backwards, eyes still on the aged brown ones as she blindly groped for the exit. It wasn’t until she rounded the corner that she was able to break eye contact with her, a hint of deja vu setting in.

If she knew her target was related to Darth Vader, she would never have attempted such a feat. In all her life, Rey had never met anyone else who could do what she could; she was the only person on Jakku who could read minds. It wasn’t broadcasted widely with Plutt only using her sparingly, so it wasn’t like she could find beings like her. With the woman - Leia - she was directly related to someone of the Force. Rey bet that Leia was trained to some extent; reading minds was probably something akin to child's play to her. Between them, Rey was the weaker one. She was the one being preyed upon. And that frightened her.

Sand fell under her as she ran for her speeder. She could see Plutt’s thugs hovering around a campfire nearby, but she could not care less if they tried to intercept her. She had to get away, a real fear of Leia far outstripping the fear she had for Plutt. She could deal with whatever consequences came from not reporting to Plutt straight away, but for now, she had to get back to the sanctuary of her AT-AT and collect herself.

Admittedly, she was surprised that she didn’t get tailed back to her home by either party. It only made Rey more paranoid, throwing looks over her shoulder until she was safely inside her home. She busied herself with ripping open a pack of rations, her eyes aimlessly watching as the powder mixed with water and became a small loaf of bread. She kept her ears peeled for any unfamiliar noises as she gorged herself on the bland bread. Usually she would sit outside and play with her flight helmet whilst she ate, but she didn’t dare show herself after what happened. She didn’t want to tempt fate in case Leia _had_ lost her.

In all her life, she had never encountered another being with the abilities she had. Telepathic species existed, there was no doubt about it in the large galaxy where she lived, but it never sat right with her about what she could do. Becoming Plutt’s secret weapon also left a bad taste in her mouth, so she never tried to see how far she could push her abilities. Sure, she had entertained possible ideas of what she could do, but never put it into practice. Slipping into someone’s dreams was something she didn’t even consider being able to do. The fear of what she could do weighed down in her chest.

Leaning against the cool wall of her AT-AT, Rey stared at the brown and orange doll propped against a rusty cup with wilting flowers inside it. The flowers always comforted and gave her hope that even the most unlikely things could survive the harsh terrain of Jakku. As she felt her eyelids grow heavy, a part of her held out for the possibility that everything would be okay.

-

Apparently, that was too much to ask.

As she roused from her sleep, she wasn’t greeted by Plutt’s thugs, but someone else. The woman from the night before sat in the small confines of her AT-AT whilst browsing a holo within her hands, shoulders relaxed and in no apparent hurry to wake her up. Rey remained in her bunk, eyes open and watching the lady. She didn’t dare move; she didn’t want to alert Leia of her awake state before she could devise a plan to escape.

“You don’t have to be so paranoid about me,” Leia commented before looking up from her holo.              

Rey swallowed, limbs paralysed in fear. It was reminiscent of the shock and fear she felt the night before, both in Leia’s dream and afterwards in her ship. “What do you want?” she asked, unable to keep her voice steady.

“Do you know what you did last night?” When Rey remained silent, Leia continued. “It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me. How about I tell you a bit about myself instead?” she offered.

“You’re Darth Vader’s daughter,” Rey said before her mind caught up with her actions.

Leia snorted. “That seems to be the only thing I’m remembered for.”

The bitterness in Leia’s voice made Rey do a double take. “There’s other things you’ve done? Like follow in Darth Vader’s footsteps?”

“I didn’t follow in his footsteps very well if I helped bring an end to the rule of the Galactic Empire.”

“No, you didn’t,” Rey argued, gaining a raised brow from Leia. “Han Solo did with his friend, Chewbacca.”

“Well then.” Leia switched her holo off with a snap. “Han will certainly be pleased to know that people on Jakku consider him to be a hero,” she said dryly.

Rey sat up and shuffled to the edge of her bunk, curiosity too much to keep inside. “You know him?”

“I married the scoundrel.”

“Oh.” Rey’s mouth formed an ‘O’, unsure as what to do with the new information.

“This place seems pretty secluded from the other worlds.”

“Well, there’s no communication grids, so I only hear what off worlders tell me. Besides, there’s no point in standing around, chatting to travelers, if we have to scavenge to get fed.”                                       

“I see.” Leia dipped her hand into her robes and pulled out a cylindrical object. “Here,” she offered, encouraging Rey to take it. “Jakku is hot, even in this AT-AT.”

“I’m used to it.” Seeing as Leia wasn’t going to leave her alone, Rey sighed and took the object. It felt cool in her hands. “What is it?”

“You’ve only had rations and water. It’s nice to have something different.”

Rey frowned but twisted the metallic item anyways. The lid came free easily and Rey couldn’t help but peer in and sniff the contents.

At her wariness, Leia added. “It’s not poisoned.”

“I don’t know you to trust you.”

With a sigh, Leia got up from her seat and took the flask back from Rey, tipping her head back for a drink. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before giving it back to Rey. “How about now?”

Rey frowned. “Only for this.”

The liquid was unlike anything Rey had tasted. It was still cold in the cannister, which only made the drink more pleasant. It was sweet and went down easily. Before she knew it, Rey was greedily chugging down the liquid as if Leia would rip it out of her hands at any moment.

Leia didn’t look surprised at all at the sight of Rey drinking the whole cannister in one go. She took a ration pack from her robes and mixed it into water like Rey had done so many times before. “You should have something to eat.”

Not thinking anything of it, Rey ripped into the bread that was offered, her stomach grumbling at the feel of the starch against her tongue. Rey froze in mid bite, mouth slightly ajar at the flavors that burst from the ration. “This isn’t a normal ration.”

“No,” Leia mused. “The rations you seem to have are the basic tier ones and frankly, I have not seen them used for many years.”

“What do you want from me?” Rey interrupted her before she could continue talking about food. “If I was you, I wouldn’t be offering special food to me after what I had done.”

“Do you think it’s a bad thing? What you’ve done?” Leia quickly clarified.

“You and I both know it is. Reading minds is one thing, but I went into your dream. I went into your mind when you weren’t even conscious and plucked them like they were nothing. I _robbed_ you.” The laugh that Leia let out was the last thing Rey expected to hear, especially after what she had just admitted.

“I’ve been trained in how to defend myself mentally. But more to the point, do you not think it’s strange that I’m here? And by here, I mean Jakku.”

Rey shrugged. “I assumed your ship had crashed or malfunctioned.”

“Oh no, my ship is in perfect working order,” said Leia, watching as Rey grew restless. “I heard that there was a special person in this barren wasteland who was able to read minds. Now, there are a lot of people in this galaxy who are telepathic in some shape or form, but not to your extent. There was something about the stories concerning you that caught my interest. I heard that this person, you, never leaves Jakku and even more curiously, works for Unkar Plutt. For someone who has such abilities, why would they stay in Jakku, much less work for a junk boss?”

“Leaving is just the first step. I don’t have credits or any knowledge of what it’s like outside of Jakku. I wouldn’t be able to survive.”

“Did Plutt tell you that?”

“No!” Rey denied, despite knowing a small part of her did believe the old tales Plutt used to tell her of how wild and ruthless the rest of the galaxy was. “No, but it’s common sense, isn’t it? I don’t have a ship, I don’t have credits. I’m a nobody from Jakku with no connections.”

“What about your family?”

“They’re gone,” Rey said before Leia even got the question out. “They left me here when I was a kid.”

“Don’t you want to go find them?” Leia watched carefully as Rey shrunk into her bunk, the change so slight that she almost missed it.

“They might come back. And I have to be here when they do.” Leia didn’t respond, only staring at Rey as if willing her to answer truthfully. After what seemed like eternity, Rey spoke again. “They might come back,” she admitted softly. “They might not. I barely have enough food to sustain me. I don’t have time to conjure fantasies of escaping Jakku when I can just wait for them here.”

“Do you truly believe that? You think it’s just a fantasy to not be on Jakku? What would you do if you had a way off this world, with more than enough credits for you to explore the galaxy for your family? A chance to be free?”

Rey regarded her seriously. “I would be hesitant, if this is the bribe you are offering me.”

“You caught me,” Leia said, smiling. “Whoever your parents are, they would be proud of you. You have incredible Force abilities.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Force abilities?”

“Yes. Humans are not naturally telepathic beings unless they are able to use the Force,” Leia continued, as if she didn’t just rock Rey’s world. “My brother, Luke, is a Jedi Master, trained in the Force and can manipulate minds at will.”

“Am I someone like that? A Jedi?”

“That’s not up to me to decide, but if you have abilities other than just reading minds then you could very well have the power of the Force. Are you able to do anything else? Summon things at will, for example?”

Chewing the inside of her mouth, Rey shook her head. “No, nothing like that. I’ve never done anything like that. Plutt couldn’t explain my telepathy either. I just did it one day when I was younger and that was it.”

“You seem very skilled at it.”

Rey shrugged. “I seem to pick up thoughts randomly from time to time. Jakku is a large wasteland so it’s not really an issue.”

“And with Plutt? Do you go and steal secrets for him a lot?”

Rey snorted. “Not a lot anymore. Everyone knows if they cross Plutt in some way that his thugs will beat them up. Occasionally, there will be one who doesn’t give up whatever they’ve stolen from Plutt and I have to go in and forcefully find it myself.” At Leia’s sombre expression, Rey snarled, “How else am I to survive on Jakku? Everyone here does what they can to scavenge so they can to be fed.”

“You have a very special ability, you know that?”

“It doesn’t matter if what I can do is special. If it helps me survive then that’s all I need.”

“As I said before, my brother is highly skilled but even he cannot go into someone else’s dreams. When I came here to find you, I did not expect you to do what you had done.”

The compliment slid off Rey’s shoulders like it was nothing. “You could tell I was in your dream, so it’s not something to brag about.”

“To you maybe, but what you did was extraordinary. You are just the person I need.”

“I’m no one.” Rey started off her bed. “I’m not interested. I don’t want any part of anything if it means I have to do that again.” She started to move around the other woman, grabbing her quarterstaff as she neared the entrance of her AT-AT. “It hurts enough to go into people’s minds.”

“That’s because you’ve been forced into doing this with no proper training. Luke can help you so it never has to hurt again. Also, Plutt’s thugs have been watching your home since last night, so I wouldn’t go outside,” Leia advised, making Rey stop in her tracks.

“I’ll just have to deal with them like I always have.” Rey gripped her quarterstaff and braced herself for the injuries she would receive.

“I can help with that.” Leia held up a blaster she had hidden inside her robes. “I can also grant you safe passage off this planet and help you start anew. You won’t ever have to come back here ever again _and_ you can be free to look for your family.”

Rey knew it was a bad idea, but the thought of leaving Jakku, maybe even finding her parents, made her falter. “And what do you want me to do? You keep saying how special I am and that I am exactly who you need. What do want from me?”

“My brother runs a Jedi Academy. A student is close to abandoning all his training as a Jedi. I need to find out why and if possible, change his mind.”

“Why does it matter if he does? It’s entirely up to him with what he chooses to do with his life.”

“I would understand if he had left the Jedi Academy when he found out about my relation to Darth Vader, but six years have passed. There’s something else contributing to his turmoil.”

Rey stomped her feet—Leia was avoiding the question. “Why do you care? If there is an _academy_ full of students, then what makes this one so special?”

What Rey saw was something she would not forget. Gone was the calm exterior of Leia. Her shoulders dropped and her face seemed to age in the span of a few seconds. The aura she exuded changed, her confident energy gone as she looked like she barely held herself together. She truly looked like she was at her wits’ end and at a loss as to what to do. She didn’t look like the self-assured woman who landed on Jakku on a personal mission, but more like the heartbroken woman Rey saw in her dream.

Leia lifted her face to meet Rey’s eyes. There was shame and regret. “It’s my son. I need you to help my son from doing something he will regret. I’m coming to you as a mother to help my child. _Please, help my son._ ”


	5. The Twins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok yeah, there's too many chapters so I'll be uploading two at a time, every few days :3 ~~yes, I updated the summary to make it longer, sush~~

The stars looked even more beautiful than what Rey could have ever imagined. Leia Organa was a Senator, Rey found out, which explained her clothing, along with her ship and the tall rise buildings in her dream. Sitting in the co-pilot’s seat of Leia’s shuttle, Rey was able to see the galaxy in a way she never thought she could. No matter where she looked, her breath was taken away by the glittering stars on a backdrop of darkness. As she watched Jakku grow smaller and disappear from view, she wondered if she would ever regret following Leia. With what she was offering, Rey felt it deep in her bones that leaving Jakku to help the Leia was a small price to pay for a lifetime of freedom.

“Where are we headed?” Rey asked.

“I've sent word to my brother. He wants to see for himself if you could do what we’re asking from you. It's rare for someone to have your abilities and not have the will of the Force. We can also iron out any details and answer any other questions that come up.”

It turned out that her brother was Luke Skywalker, someone who also helped bring the Galactic Civil War to an end. That information calmed Rey’s stomach somewhat, but he was still an unknown person to her. She had heard of Han Solo and Chewbacca and Leia had proved to be trustworthy to some degree, but Luke? He was a powerful Jedi Master who was also able to read minds. That itself put Rey on edge. The smooth hum of Leia’s ship was the only thing keeping her jitters at ease, palms still sweaty and her fingers fidgeting.

Rey didn’t expect the Jedi Master to be some man with a wild greying beard. His face looked severe and with his brown robes, he looked even more intimidating. He too had deep worry lines etched into his skin, much like his sister. Rey skimmed the surface of his mind, only to find someone who was tired and weary from his full life.

“This is my brother, Luke. He is the person who has been training Ben and doing his best to keep him in the light,” introduced Leia.

“Rey, from the bottom of my heart, thank—” Luke looked at the smaller girl warily when she put her hand up to stop him.

“I haven’t accepted yet, and I won’t until I have all the details. What _exactly_ do you expect me to do?”

“Leia told me that you have dreamscape abilities. Do you know how rare that is?”

Rey felt uneasy at Luke’s serious tone. “I’ve only learnt how to do it recently. It was only my second time doing it when I met Leia, the first time being a total accident.”

“No,” Luke said, shaking his head. “No one simple stumbles on the ability to slip into someone’s dreams. Doing that is merely a precursor to what you can do with dreams.”

Rey turned to Leia, who sat off to the side, watching the interaction with her brother. “You mentioned that you needed me to find out what’s wrong with your son.” Rey’s eyes flickered to Luke. “Your student. You want me to find out what’s wrong with him and try to change his mind?”

“Yes,” both Luke and Leia said.

“I want us to be totally clear about this. You are asking me to _manipulate_ him into staying with the academy.” Something tingled at the back of her throat, pooling onto the underside of her tongue. Her nose crinkled.

“No.” Leia stood up and stepped between Rey and Luke. “That’s not what we're asking. We don’t know why my son is being like this. He always brushes me off as over worrying when I ask him about it. Same goes for Luke. Even as a child, something bothered him. He would smile like any other child but it never reached his eyes. It was fine for a while. I hoped he would one day tell me, but I also wondered if it had anything to do with his Force abilities.” At Rey’s slight tilt of her head, Leia elaborated. “The Force is strong in our family. My husband and I agreed not to send him to Luke unless absolutely necessary.” Leia cupped her hands on Rey’s shoulders. “I was never trained in the Force. I lack what my brother has. Discipline.”

“And it worked, for a time,” Luke added, coming forward so that the siblings stood closer to Rey. “Ben was enjoying himself. He found the knowledge about the Jedi way enthralling. He loved the challenges that came with the responsibility of the Jedi. He excelled where others struggled. He became disciplined enough to become a Jedi Knight, but after the news of his lineage came out...” Luke trailed off, as if he was still in denial for what had happened.

“He stayed with you,” said Rey. “He stayed with you even after all that’s happened.”

Luke’s shoulders dropped even more. “But at what cost? Six years has passed and he’s no longer the same Ben we knew. He’s quick to snap and easily irritated. It’s not just his attitude either. His training has laxed as well. His stances are sloppy and erratic, nothing like the Jedi way.”

“I hate to suggest it but have you tried—” Rey paused and wriggled her fingers at the side of her head.

“He’s been trained in resisting ‘Jedi Mind Tricks’,” said Luke, with two fingers making air quotations. “Not only is he guarded against them, but he would know it's me in a heartbeat. He’s skittish as it is so I don’t want to attempt it.”

“We’re close to losing him,” whispered Leia, Rey’s ears straining to hear her. “I feel him growing darker by the day, more and more confused with what he should do.”

“You _feel_ him?” asked Rey.

Leia looked at her with weary eyes. “I’ve always felt him. The Force keeps us together even when we’re on opposite sides of the galaxy. I’ve always been able to feel him, but recently, there’s something obscuring him from me. It’s like his anger has manifested into a dark cloud and is blocking me from him. I don’t even think he’s doing it knowingly. That’s why I’ve asked you here. Help us, Rey. You’re our only hope.”

“If I go into his dreams, what's to say he won’t realise what’s happening? You realised I was there,” Rey said, addressing Leia.

“Only after I locked eyes on you through the mirror. Before that, I had no idea you were in my dream.” The older woman let out a chuckle. “When I landed on Jakku, I certainly wasn’t expecting a dreamwalker.”

“Is that what I am? A dreamwalker?”

A grin spread over Leia’s face. “Well, I don’t know, but it feels appropriate. I doubt there’s been enough people with your ability to have a real term for it.”

“No, there isn’t anyone else,” said Luke. “So, Rey, will you help us?”

She gnawed her lip between her teeth, unsure if she should get involved in family matters, much less the family of Darth Vader. “If there’s ever a moment I don’t think it’s safe, I’m pulling out.”

“Of course.”

“And I’m only agreeing to go into his dreams to find out what is occupying his mind. Nothing else. If the reason for his decision is because of something that has directly happened to him, then there’s nothing we can do. I’m not going to go into someone’s dreams, find out their secrets and then delete it from their mind just to appease you.”

“No, we would never want you to.”

“So what? You want me to just go into his dreams and then report back?”

“Not exactly,” Luke said, words drawn from him slowly. “We need you to bring both myself and Leia with you into his dreams.”

“ _What_?” she squawked.

“From the limited information there is about your abilities, you _can_ bring others with you into the dream, and we both have Force abilities so it should not be a problem.”

Rey snorted. “I can think of a few already.”

“Well, yes, but we need to go with you. You’ll need someone to navigate whatever environment that is Ben’s dream. We’ve known him for his whole life so whatever form his dreams take, it’s a good chance that either of us can help get you through it without him noticing us.”

“But I’m so new to this! I’m not ready to go into someone’s dream with people!” Rey stuttered.

“We can give it a go? Try to bring me into Leia’s dreams and Leia into my dreams to make sure you can take us both.” Before Luke finished his sentence, he lowered himself onto the ground and propped himself up against a rock. “I’ll go to sleep first.”

“Wait, what?” Rey watched in amazement as Luke body went limp after passing his hand over his face. “That’s it?” she asked Leia.

“He tends to do that a lot. It’s how he sleeps now. Shall we?” Leia held her hand out to Rey, waiting but not sure what to expect.

That made the two of them.

Rey took her hand gingerly and stared at her. “I don’t actually know what to do now.”

“What did you do before? Try that?”

As cliché as it seemed, Rey shrugged and clapped her hand on Luke’s shoulder.

In a blink of an eye, the surroundings changed and the pair found themselves in an unfamiliar environment. No longer was the ground solid dirt under their feet, but  metallic instead. It was cold, a different kind of cold than what Rey had felt on Leia’s ship. From where she and Leia were standing, they had to dodge several soldiers in black and white suits that ran past in a steady formation. Leia pulled them to an alcove, shielding Rey as if any of the soldiers might pull a blaster on them.

“Where are we?” Rey whispered, pushing against Leia’s arm to try and get a better look.

“I’m not sure, but those are Stormtroopers and Imperial personnel. Their design is old, so it must have been when the Empire was still in power.”

Rey remained quiet, craning her neck every now and then to get a better grasp of her new surroundings. It looked like they were near the loading dock of some ship. The lighting made everything very impersonal and uncomfortable for Rey; grey lifeless panels surrounded her with large vertical rods of luminescent light not helping with the flat environment. Even though it was only a dream, it shook Rey to actually see an Imperial ship in the flesh and fully operational. She knew it never could be bright or welcoming, but what she saw made her skin crawl.

Grunting off to the side caught her attention, and Rey prodded Leia to look towards a large area where an Imperial shuttle sat. “Who’s that?”

Rey felt Leia stiffen next to her. “Luke. And Darth Vader. This must be the Death Star.”

“Let’s get closer then.” Rey grabbed Leia, carefully dodging any more incoming personnel and hid behind a pile of plastic crates. She strained her ears and caught bits of their conversation.

“— _Just for once...let me look on you with my own eyes_.”

The younger Luke looked unsure before reaching up to unclasp the shiny black helmet that masked Darth Vader. Piece by piece, the helmet was stripped away until there was nothing hiding his face. A soft gasp left Leia, but Rey ignored it. She was too focused on the elder man with unseeing eyes and scars running over his face.

Darth Vader rasped something, his voice too weak for Rey to hear, but from Luke’s reaction, it must not have been good.

“ _No. You're coming with me. I can't leave you here. I've got to save you._ ”

Darth Vader mumbled something again, still too soft for them to hear. Leia had had enough and moved towards a set of crates closer, forcing Rey to follow.

“— _You were right about me. Tell your sister...you were right_.”

“ _Father...I won't leave you_ ,” Luke said desperately, despite the life already leaving the body beneath him.

Rey, Leia and Luke remained motionless, all staring at the hulking body that was Darth Vader. Rey looked to her side, mouth already open with a question on the tip of her tongue, but the look on Leia’s face made her stop. “Leia?” she whispered.

A range of emotions flittered over Leia’s face. Hurt. Anger. Bitterness. Others that Rey could not identify. Leia’s mouth was in a tight line, eyes fixated on the form of her brother and now deceased Sith Lord.

“What was Luke right about?” Rey cautiously reached out to Leia but the moment her fingers brushed against Leia’s arm, Leia snatched her arm away as if burnt.

“Let's go.” Leia shuffled back to their previous pile of crates, still ignoring Rey’s question. Rey found it strange for Leia to react in such a way. It was safe to assume that Luke had told Leia about Darth Vader’s last words, right?

Rey had to rush to catch up with Leia who kept moving towards an adjoining hallway. “Leia,” she hissed, arm swinging to catch her. She managed to grab her sleeve, forcing the other woman to look at her.

“Take us back,” Leia commanded from between her gritted teeth.

“What? No, we just got here.”

“You’ve taken me into Luke’s dream. We’ve navigated it successfully. Now you need to take us both back to reality.”

Rey gnawed the inside of her mouth. “Leia, I don’t know you or what’s made you panic like this, but whatever it is, you need to talk about it with Luke. That’s all I’m saying.” Before Leia could say anything, Rey grabbed her arm and threw them both into an incoming group of Stormtroopers.

Leia snapped her eyes open, heart beating loudly in her chest and her ears. She looked around wildly before patting herself down to make sure she was still alive.

“You’re fine. It was a dream after all.” Rey stood to the side, watching Leia as she waited for Luke to wake from his slumber.

“It felt so real.”

Rey shrugged noncommittally. “This is the third time I’ve died in a dream. It’s scary at first, but it wears off eventually. It’s kind of like when you fall in a dream and it suddenly jolts you awake. It feels real, but it’s not. Besides, it’s not like you can actually die from a dream.”

-

Luke woke up not long after Rey and Leia came out of his dream. “How did it go?” he asked, his voice surprisingly chipper considering just waking up.

“Good.” Rey looked at Leia expectantly, waiting for her to address whatever had happened in the dream.

Not taking in the tension, Luke carried on. “What did I dream about? I hope nothing too weird.”

“Nope,” Leia said. “Nothing weird at all.”

“Shall I try now then? Are you ready?”

Rey remained silent as she watched Luke pass a hand over Leia, and like earlier, Leia’s body went limp and her breathing evened out. She wasn’t sure if it was her place to bring up Leia’s issue to Luke. After all, she’d only known the woman for a day. If she had a problem with anything, Leia would take it up with Luke in private; it wasn’t any business of Rey’s.

“Let’s go,” said Rey, taking Luke’s hand before taking hold of Leia’s shoulder.

The environment was different than Luke’s dream. This time, Rey ended up in some sort of household. Luke stepped past her and made his way down the hall, comfortable in the house. “What is this place?” Rey asked, quickly following behind.

“This is Leia’s home, but there are no pictures on the walls.” Luke walked down a corridor, careful to check that no one would stumble upon them, and slowed down outside a door. He cracked the door open slightly and peered inside. Behind him, Rey craned her neck to see what or who was inside.

“ _Ben. My darling baby Ben._ ”

Rey impatiently pulled at Luke’s collar with a sound of annoyance as he continued to block her view. The voice was familiar, but different at the same time. When she finally got a glimpse, she saw a young woman with long brown hair cascading over her shoulders, humming as she rocked the bundle in her arms.

“ _My little angel._ ”

“Is that—?” Rey asked, turning to Luke as her finger pointed inside.

“Leia when Ben was born, yes.”

Rey turned back to the sight, watching as the young face of Leia smiled down at the child in her arms. The stress lines were absent, her youthful face filled with joy instead. It was so different to the Leia she had just met.

Suddenly, the younger Leia frowned and her humming stopped. She looked like she was in deep concentration, which was odd considering it was just her and her baby. Then, a look of fear crossed her face; a look of pure horror that was directed at her child. She quickly held her baby close, burying his face into her chest and began shushing and caressing the back of his head. She seemed like she would wear a hole in the floor, pacing back and forth to calm her nerves.

Rey pulled away from the spectacle and looked at Luke for an explanation. Even though Luke didn’t see what Rey saw, the look on his face told her that he knew what had happened already. This wasn’t new to him.

Grabbing Luke’s hand to pull him down the corridor and out of the house, Rey felt a sick feeling sink at the bottom of her stomach. There were details missing. “What was all that about?” she hissed.

Luke sighed. “It’s nothing. It only happened when Ben was born and it was a mere slip.”

“What happened?” Rey repeated more forcefully. Alarm bells were going off in her head from the secrets the siblings seemed to be keeping from each other and from herself.

“Ben’s Force abilities were raw as a child, rightly so since he was only a child. As a baby, the Force was practically spilling from him. Leia had told me of an instance where Ben had brushed against Leia’s mind when he was just born and she told me it felt like Vader’s. But!” Luke cut in when he saw Rey open her mouth in protest. “But, she told me that was the only time it happened. And I trust my sister. I visited every once in a while to give Ben some pointers to honing his skills when he was old enough.”

“We saw you with Darth Vader as he died.”

“What?”

“Your dream,” Rey explained. “That was your dream. Leia has a problem with Darth Vader.”

“Don’t be silly. I spoke to her about it after the Death Star was destroyed. She understands that our father strayed to the dark side, but redeemed himself when he sacrificed himself to save me. She knows, Rey.”

“Are you sure?” Rey looked at Luke dead in the eye. “She didn’t look like someone who has accepted it. When we were in your dream, the scene of him dying really shook her. We weren’t even in your dream for more than a few minutes before she demanded to get out of it. She isn’t okay with Darth Vader, Luke, and maybe that reason is linked with what’s happening to her son, Ben.”

“We all have our reservations with what had happened, but Leia would never let her grudges with our father affect how she’s raised Ben.”

“Oh no, I don’t doubt that for a second, but there is something different between how you and Leia view Darth Vader. Why is that?”

Luke frowned, the corners of his lips tugging down as if he wanted to say something, but was too afraid of what it would mean.

“Tell me. I can’t help you or Leia or Ben if you don’t tell me. And this is a pretty big deal breaker.”

“It’s just that—” Luke paused, trying to find the right words. “Even though Leia and I are siblings—twins, even—we didn’t grow up together or know of each other’s existence until we were nineteen years old. Even then, we didn’t know we were related until four years afterwards. We would have never known if it wasn’t for the Force. It _is_ strong in our family.” Luke glanced around nervously, not comfortable spilling the Skywalker family history within someone else’s dream—even if it was his sister’s. “Can we discuss this later? With Leia, perhaps?”

“She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Luke sighed and begrudgingly continued. “At birth, we were split up. She does not use the Skywalker name, like I do. Leia’s full name she uses to this day is Leia Organa. While I was put under the care of my aunt and uncle, Leia was adopted by Bail Organa, a member of the royal family of Alderaan.”

“Alderaan?” Rey repeated.

“It no longer exists. The Empire, more specifically, Darth Vader, saw to its demise. He made Leia watch as the first Death Star destroyed the planet along with her adoptive family. From what she’s told me, she was tortured and questioned by Darth Vader before he knew of her relation to him.” Luke's shoulders dropped. “I don't expect Leia to forgive or see our father like I do. She has every right to hate Darth Vader.”

“Have you spoken to her about this, though?”

“We had a talk about it when the Empire fell, before Leia got involved with the New Republic.”

“Do you think this might be linked with what’s happening with Ben?”

“Absolutely not,” Luke said, confidence clear in his voice. “There’s no way for Ben to be affected by any of this. It must be something else.”

Rey fixed him with a steely look. “Are you sure?”

After a moment of silence, Luke spoke again only more softly. “I hope so or else it means that after all these years, the past still haunts this family.”

His words struck a chord with Rey. A family was all Rey had ever wanted when she was younger. She had been envious and slightly bitter that these two strangers wanted to manipulate someone close to them, out of the love in their hearts. After hearing the history that surrounded their family, she quickly grew grateful for her simple Jakku life. It was hard and painful when she started, but she only ever had to worry about surviving. She never had to deal with familial relations, her actions only ever effecting herself and no one else.

Hearing about Luke and Leia’s past and how it could be linked with Ben’s behaviour made something stir within her—something she had not felt in such a long time. To assist and aid. The harsh living on Jakku didn’t allow for such thinking and it made her cold to the happenings of the other scavengers, but she was no longer on Jakku or under Plutt’s rule. Revelation dawned on Rey, realising how free she truly was. She could offer her help to the Skywalker twins without anything holding her back. She could do anything she wanted.

And she wanted to help.

-

“See anything weird?” Leia asked, purposely using the same question Luke had when he came out of his dream.

Rey awkwardly stood next to Luke, unsure of what she should reply. Thankfully, Luke spoke up first. “It was your first encounter of Ben’s Force abilities. When he was still a newborn,” Luke elaborated.

Leia’s face hardened, not needing any further explanation. “Oh.”

“And I explained everything to Rey.”

“Huh,” Leia mumbled, fixing Rey with a hard stare. “Is there anything you want to ask me, Rey?”

Rey shifted her weight between her feet, wary about getting involved in something that was obviously way over her head. However, she wasn’t going to go along with whatever they had planned with unanswered questions. “Do you see Vader in your son?”

“No. Definitely not. It was a worry when he was growing up, since the Force was so strong and powerful within him, but that’s why I got Luke to come and train him when he turned five. It was only once a week and when he was old enough, he went to Luke’s academy to properly train to become a Jedi.”

“And that’s it? Did you see him a lot when he was training?”

A guilty look passed over Leia’s face. “I must admit, I should have devoted more time to him. I became so preoccupied with the New Republic that I thought if I left Ben with Luke, it would be okay.”

Rey’s brow furrowed. Something felt off with the timing. “But why now? Why are you looking for a solution now? What has he done to prompt this?”

A worried look settled on Luke’s face. “He’s becoming harsher with the other padawans. He’s no longer doing things the Jedi way. I thought I could keep him in the light, but apparently not.”

“I want my son back. I want my son who used to be able to play with other children, dirt smudged on his face without a care in the world. Now, I feel tension and unease from him. For a parent to feel such turmoil from their own child…” The sentence was left hanging as Leia struggled to collect herself.

“Hey.” Leia looked up as Rey laid a comforting hand placed on her back. “It’ll be alright.” In her head, Rey added, _I hope._

“Does that mean…?”

Rey nodded, a smile matching Leia’s. “I’ll help bring your son home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes directly from Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi


	6. The Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit finally happens in this fic...

Rey sat in the copilot’s seat of Leia’s cloaked shuttle, waiting for Luke to appear at the appointed time. They decided to wait a week to do anything, since the students at the Jedi Academy grew restless whenever Luke left. Accordingly, the Jedi Master tried to keep his offworld travels to once a week. He would sometimes bring other padawans with him to run errands, but this time, under the pretense of looking at an old Jedi Temple, Luke would bring Ben.

As the minutes ticked by, Rey became more and more restless, worried that something had happened and that Ben defected already. She had to admit, she was curious about him. He was loved so much by his family that they would go to these lengths to help him, even if he didn’t seem to want their help. What would he be like? Rey imagined a quiet boy, someone who preferred his own company over others, something she had grown up knowing.

“Do you think you’ll be able to do it?”

Leia’s sudden question broke Rey from her musings. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try my best. I have to find out the source of his personal anguish first. If it’s beyond my abilities or understanding, then you’ll be the first to know.”

“I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to stay and help after hearing about our family history with Darth Vader.”

“I—” Rey stopped, knowing she couldn’t simply say that she would help regardless, because she wasn’t going to. “I had my worries. I still do. If I find out that it’s something anyone has directly done to him to make him like this, then I’m bailing. The whole point of this is to remedy something that he has thought about, not alter something that has actually happened to him. Erasing his memories about a traumatic event, especially if he doesn’t even know this is happening, is dangerous and something I want no part of.”

“Of course. If that’s the case then it’s more serious than I had thought.”

Rey leaned back in her seat, looking nonchalant as if to diffuse the question she was about to ask. “Do you think it’s something you’ve done?”

“Kriff,” she swore. “I sincerely hope not.” She tapped her fingers on the dashboard and muttered, “Where the kriff is Luke?”

There was still a bit of time remaining until Luke was scheduled to check in, so Rey took out a weathered book she had been studying for the past week. Luke had given it to her before he left, telling her it was something he found years ago when he was looking for Jedi artifacts. It was interesting, to say the least, and had more information on her abilities than she could have imagined.

She fingered the soft pages, the word ‘Dreamscape’ embossed and faded on the cover. She studied it extensively in the week she had to prepare before their journey into Ben’s mind. It shed some light and reinforced some ideas and theories that rattled inside her head. The full extent of what she could do was still hazy; there were no confirmed known ‘dreamwalkers’ in many millenia. Nevertheless, the old book was invaluable in how to step through and interact with dreams.

A beep of a ship exiting hyperspace brought Rey out of her musings. She pocketed the book inside her clothes, the small rectangle pressed against her chest to ease her rapidly beating heart.

“Right on time,” Rey commented, waiting for a signal from Luke.

Finally, the comm buzzed. “It's safe to dock,” said Luke, voice distorted over the speakers.

Leia let out the breath she was holding and started priming the engines. “Time to do this.”

When Rey stepped foot onto Luke’s ship, she ignored everything happening around her. She didn’t hear the words Luke and Leia exchanged or what Luke’s ship looked like; her eyes zoomed in at the unmoving object that was slumped in the cockpit. Her feet moved towards him without even realising, her heart beating fast and loud in anticipation of seeing the famed Ben Solo.

Asleep, he looked so serene and calm. His thick black hair fell over his face, partially obscuring his frown. It seemed to be a family trait, to have their faces marred by deep frowns. As Rey knelt next to him, she could see the lines that spoiled the bottom half of his face. He looked so desolate and forlorn, her hand twitching towards his face. Whether it was to brush his hair from his face or caress his cheek, she didn’t know, but the footsteps of Luke and Leia made her pull her hand away, hiding it behind her back as she turned to them.

“As long as we’re in his dreams, he won’t wake up. I put him in a deep enough sleep,” Luke said, entering the cockpit with Leia next to him. “I would move him to somewhere more comfortable but it’ll be harder to put him back here before he wakes up. He isn’t exactly _small_.”

“Okay, let’s go over the plan again,” Rey said. “The moment we enter his dream, we won’t have any control over what’s happening. We have to keep our interactions with the surroundings to a minimum or else his subconscious will know something is wrong. If we need to go into deeper dreams, a dream within a dream, we’ll decide when the time comes who stays and who progresses deeper into Ben’s dreams. Our limit is three dreams, since there are only three of us. If it all goes smoothly, I’ll bring us out of each dream level until we’re back to reality. Sound good?”

Luke nodded, but Leia remained motionless, fixated on her sleeping child.

“Leia?”

“He’s grown up so much since I’ve last seen him,” she breathed.

“If this works, you’ll be able to see him for a very long time. Come on.” Rey signalled for the twins to take hold of her shoulder before clapping her own two hands onto Ben’s sleeping form.

-

Rey was surprised that she recognised her surroundings. She was in the same corridor that she had been with Luke a week prior—the same one in Leia’s dream. Immediately, all the three pressed themselves against the wall, scared that a young Leia would come out from around the corner. “We need to hide in case you—” Rey pointedly looked at Leia before she continued. “—stumble upon us.”

Despite Rey’s warning, Leia continued down the corridor like it was second nature.

“Leia!” Luke hissed, looking around in paranoia. “What are you doing?”

“Trust me,” she whispered, ushering the two behind her.

The house seemed deserted, not surprising since the last time Rey was there, it was devoid of anyone too. Both she and Luke followed Leia, wary yet curious.

“We need to find out what period we’re in,” Leia explained, rounding a corner and proceeding down another corridor. “Ben’s bedroom is over here so at least I can figure out how old he is by that.”

“Wait.” Rey stopped Leia, pulling her into a vacant room. “We need to disguise ourselves. More specifically, you two. If anyone finds us, you’ll be recognised instantly and the dream will be compromised.”

Grabbing a nearby cloth, Luke pulled it over his head as if it would suffice. Both Rey and Leia looked at him blankly. “No.”

Chuckling, Luke threw aside his pitiful disguise. “Alright, alright. How should we do this?”

“You just need to close your eyes and concentrate on what you want your appearance to look like. Something nondescript and bland so it won’t stick out when Ben wakes up.” Within a blink of an eye, the familiar forms of Luke and Leia was replaced by two unknown people, both in light grey uniforms.

“How do we look?” asked a dark haired male with the voice belonging to Luke.

“Like a standard human,” Rey said, nodding in approval.

“These are the uniforms of any workers we had come to our house,” the blond female, Leia, explained. “You should change to match us.”

Following suit, Rey looked down and gone were her usual sandy colored clothes from Jakku. Now, she was in a similar high-collared grey uniform. Before she could examine her uniform or Luke and Leia’s new appearances, a commotion outside caught the occupant’s attention. It was crying with rapid footsteps echoing past the door and down the hall. Rey was the first the leave, catching the sight of a small boy disappearing around the corner.

“Ben?” Rey mouthed to the others, pointing in the direction he ran down.

“He still looks young,” Luke said, just catching a glimpse of Ben.

“Come on.” Rey tiptoed down the hall, making sure not to run into anyone, and found the small form of a child run out into the garden outside.

There were tall hedges lining the building to act as a barricade to the outside world. Ben ran towards the far end of the garden and tucking himself into a corner, back against the hedge. He was so small and hunched in on himself that if Rey didn’t watch him go outside, she would have missed him entirely.

Hiding behind a panel, Rey looked to the other two. “We should go talk to him.”

“He might recognise our voices. He may be a kid here but this _is_ his dream,” Luke professed.

“You should talk to him,” Leia advised. “We’ll be close by in case anything goes wrong and we need to get out of here.”

That was something else the ‘Dreamscape’ book shed light on. From Rey’s past and somewhat limited experience, she had to kill herself somehow to get out of a dream, but the book stated that a true dreamwalker was able to leave the dream at will, taking anyone they wanted with them. While Leia coined the term ‘dreamwalker’, Luke furiously believed Rey to be one. His faith in Rey to have these rare abilities were reassuring, if not nerve-wracking.

Feeling a boost of confidence, Rey quietly stepped out of their alcove and approached Ben. With him so far from the main household, she tried making her footsteps heard as to not startle the boy.

His head was hidden from sight, curled in on himself with arms thrown over his head. His body shook slightly, and if Rey was quiet enough, she could hear soft whimpers from him.

“Ben?” she asked tentatively.

The boy froze and peeked from curve of his arm. “Go away!”

His muffled cries did nothing but encourage Rey to come closer. “Ben, what’s wrong?”

“Who are you?” he asked, head flicking up to expose a pair of red rimmed eyes narrowing at her presence. “The staff never bother me and leave me alone. Who are you?”

“Well, I’m not your ordinary payroll worker. Master Ben, do mind if I sit with you?”

Not expecting her kindness, Ben hid his face in his arms once more. “Whatever.”

Rey settled down next to him, knees tented as she willed herself to remain casual. “I’m Kira. I haven’t been here long, so this is probably the first time you’ve seen me.” Ben ignored her but stopped crying, either reassuring or worrying Rey further. “Your mother wouldn’t be pleased to see you crying outside if she knew,” she tried, forcing her face forward no matter how tempting it was to glance over at him.

Ben let out a rude noise. “My mom doesn’t care about me.”

“What makes you say that? She’s your mother. She loves you very much.”

He grunted and the silence settled once more. Worry started to nag at Rey that she had approached him wrong or was too quick at mentioning his mother. Rey momentarily wished she could fetch some water for him, but didn’t want him running off the moment she got up. She didn’t know what to do.

When she was younger, around the same age, Rey had spent many nights in the same state. She knew it was useless, that crying wasn’t going to bring back her parents, if they were even still alive, but sometimes there was no stopping the tears that slipped down her face. She thought back to a time where she saw a small offworlder child fall down at Niima Outpost, mouth hanging open as they cried loudly. Their mother had come rushing, lifting them up in her arms in a tight hug, shushing and rocking them until the child's cries subsided. Rey remembered the jealousy and desire to experience such a feeling when she cried alone in her AT-AT. Looking down at the quiet boy next to her, it was seemed like the most obvious thing for her to do.

His frame tensed at her arms wrapping around him, her hands rubbing his back, coaxing any unwanted worries from him. He didn’t move for the longest time, but eventually, the cries started again. Rey rocked him, humming and shushing into his ear as his wails became louder.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” she repeated, heart aching at how violently his body shook. He screamed into her arms and she hugged him tighter. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, Rey having to twist into an awkward position to hold him, but it was nothing compared to the sorrow that racked his soul. “It’s okay,” she chanted to him and to some degree, to herself as well.

“She doesn’t love me.” His voice was soft and barely audible, hiccups and blubbers doing nothing to help Rey catch his words. “Mom doesn’t like me. I’ve tried so hard to be better, but she still thinks the same.”

“She doesn’t mean it,” Rey breathed, resting her cheek against his head of hair.

“She does. I heard Dad talking with her and she didn’t say anything. That’s basically agreeing.”

“What did you hear?”

“That I had too much Vader in me. I don’t even know what Vader is but whatever it is, I don’t want it! I just want them to love me!” With each sentence, Ben’s voice grew louder and angrier, words matching the rhythm of his pounding fists. “It’s not my fault that I have this dumb Force in me! It’s not my fault that I hear what she thinks sometimes! She my mom! I’m trying to be better! It’s been years since Uncle Luke started to train me! And for what? She still thinks I’m a lost cause! **She hates me!** ”

“I don’t hate you.”

Rey snapped at the new voice. Her eyes widened at the appearance of Leia in disguise, Ben following suit and staring at the two strangers. Rey remained close to Ben, still holding him in her arms, unsure what to do as Leia stepped towards them. Luke stood not far, the look on his face matching Rey’s. Even though they looked different, their aged gravelly voices could be recognised by the right people, Ben included.

Confusion danced across Ben’s face and into his voice. “You,” he murmured. “You sound like Mom.”

Leia chalked up, bowing and deepened her voice in a belated attempt to hide herself. “Young Master, your mother doesn’t hate you.”

Ben scooted closer to Rey, not trusting the newcomers. “Go away!”

“Shh, Ben, it’s okay. They’re my friends. It’s okay,” Rey repeated, shooting him a friendly smile.

The boy only became more restless at her words. Ben looked between Rey and the other two and tried to scutter away. “You’re with them! You’re no better!” He flailed, feet kicking wildly. When Rey didn’t seem deterred, he lifted his hand towards her, fingers splayed. “Go away!”

“Ben!” Luke yelled as Rey was flung aside. Before he could do any more damage, Luke passed his hand over his nephew and watched as the small boy went limp. “You okay?” he asked Rey, who merely got up and dusted herself off.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Is he?” Rey asked, nodding her head at the sleeping boy.

“Just asleep. His abilities weren’t honed just yet at his age, so I didn’t want anything unpredictable to happen.”

“He wasn’t meant to be home that day,” Leia lamented. “I didn’t think he overheard my conversation with Han about him. _I never knew_.”

“It’s alright, Leia. We’ll work this out.”

“He’s right,” Rey interjected. “This looks to be a big misunderstanding, meaning we can go into another dream level. We still need to find out how this has festered into who he is today.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if it was really just a simple misunderstanding, I imagine Ben would have mentioned it to someone at some point, but neither you nor Leia knew about it. There must be something else going on here. You said it yourself: why has Ben stuck around this long after finding out who Darth Vader was in relation to him? If it was simply that, he wouldn’t feel the need to fall to the dark side and do the exact thing he feared his mother expected him to be.”

“You’re right,” Leia said, crouching down to scoop up Ben into her arms. “It can’t be that simple.”

“Hey you!”

The three of them turned at the sudden shout. A few men in dark grey uniforms started charging towards them, but they could see a horde gathering within the house, ready to rush the trio.

Spying a rake nearby, Rey grabbed the object and swung it anyone that got near. “We have to go somewhere safe! He’s realised there’s someone here! His subconscious is fighting us!” Rey fought off a few, kicking and striking them down with Luke by her side doing the same.

“I know a place! Come on!” With Ben safely in her arms, Leia took off towards the back of the house.

Luke flung the onslaught aside with the Force, allowing himself and Rey to quickly run after Leia. Not far from the back entrance was a large tree. The base of the trunk was thick from years of growth; strong and old enough that it could support a small house built into its branches. Leia was already at the top of the tree. “Come on! Quickly!”

There was a rope ladder that lead to the treehouse. Rey and Luke hoisted themselves onto the rickety ladder, neither looking back as they ascended. Once secure on the landing of the treehouse, they pulled the rope ladder up so no one could follow. Below was a swarm of faceless men, all looking up and clawing to get to them. The tree was too large in diameter for anyone to simply climb up and the branches were too high up for anyone to reach, but that didn’t stop them from attacking the trunk.

“This should be a safe place while you two progress to the next level,” said Leia, ushering them into the small house.

Rey’s breath was taken away by what she saw inside. Stuck to the walls were various family photos; some individual and some group shots, all with Ben smiling happily in them.

“You sure it’s ok to stay here?” she asked, softly.

Leia smiled grimly. “Yeah. Even though this is a dream, I miss my baby in my arms. Even though he won’t remember it, this is enough.”

“Alri- _whoa_!” Rey’s hands slapped the walls, desperate to grip onto something as slight tremors shook the tree house. She darted outside and looked over the ledge to see the swarm of grey uniforms had doubled in number, and continued to grow. “We have to go so we don’t waste any more time.” Rey ducked back inside. “Make sure you stay alive. If you die before I get back to get us out of here, I don’t know where you’ll end up. Best case scenario will be you just wake up on Luke’s ship. Worse case would be you falling into the next level with us but then that means we could be trapped here. There needs to be someone on each dream level for me to navigate back to reality.”

Leia nodded. “Don’t worry, this tree has been here for generations and this treehouse wasn’t built by amateurs. Ewoks assisted in its construction and they _live_ in the trees. We should be fine. Go!” she insisted.

“Hopefully we won’t take too long. Time moves faster with each level, so half an hour for you could be months for us.” Rey shot Leia a nervous smile. “Hang on and take care. Luke, you ready? Alright, be back soon.” With Luke’s hand in her own, Rey looked down and as she was about to grab ahold of Ben, a powerful shockwave made her look to the side. A second before going deeper into Ben’s dream, she caught a child’s drawing of three stick figures with shaky writing underneath: _Mom, Dad and Me, Happy._

 


	7. The Ploy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY FINALLY MEET, GODDAMN

“There’s so much green.” Rey looked in awe at her surroundings. She and Luke hid behind some trees as they looked down into a valley where small huts littered the earth.

“Welcome to my Jedi Academy,” said Luke. “How should we do this? There’s a version of me already existing in this realm and Ben’s subconscious already know something’s wrong.”

Frowning, Rey spoke with hesitation evident in her voice. “There is a way we would trick him into trusting us, more specifically me, and turn against his own subconscious, but it’s risky.”

“What is it?”

“Your Dreamscape book had some interesting theories, which I’m sure you read yourself.”

“You’re talking about revealing that he’s dreaming,” Luke accused. “Risky is the understatement of the century, Rey.”

“If I introduce myself to him as his subconscious, I could trick him into thinking his real subconscious is an enemy trying to steal his secrets. He already has some link to me since I spoke to him in the previous dream level. It’s a weak connection but better weak than someone he knows, like you. This might actually work, since we never met before going into his dream.”

Luke didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure?”

“We’ll know immediately if it works. If he recognises me and considers me a threat, I should have enough time to grab you and get out of his dreams.”

“What about the other Luke?”

“We’ll have to ambush and knock him out so you can take his place and keep an eye over everything. If this works, I’ll have to pretend to be someone in the Jedi Academy for a while, so I can get close to Ben. What better way to have you helping and covering my tracks so it’s believable?”

“You’ve only lived on Jakku, right?” Luke asked, gaining a nod from Rey. “I can bring you in as a sort of survival instructor? It’s one thing to know how to use the Force, but sometimes having some tricks up your sleeve to survive is important too.”

Rey grinned widely. “Oh, I can definitely help your students with that.”

“A bit of a warning though, Ben is probably the most arrogant one of the bunch, so he might not be the easiest to get along with.”

Thinking back to Plutt and the other scumbags she had to deal with in the past, Rey brushed Luke’s warning aside. “I’ll be fine. How bad can he be? Besides, if he believes I’m part of his subconscious, he might be different towards me.”

Luke grimaced but didn’t say anything.

Finding the Luke within Ben’s dream was not difficult. They caught him unsuspecting during his morning meditation. Rey had to admit that it was rather amusing to see the shock and confusion on Dream-Luke’s face before he was knocked out. The pair carried him back to his hut, thankful that it was still early in the morning so the rest of the padawans were either still getting ready or performing their own morning meditations.

“No one comes in here so it should be safe to hide him here. Besides, if anyone does, they’ll just assume I’m asleep.”

Rey didn’t want to comment on the unlikelihood of anyone thinking that. With the way Dream-Luke’s body was contorted, anyone stumbling on him would become detrimental to their mission. “Okay, but we’ll hide him in the corner anyways. Just in case.” Rey smiled nervously, draping a sheet over the still body.

“Okay, so let’s get-”

“Master, I--Who’s this?”

Rey and Luke swiveled around at the new, yet familiar, voice belonging to their target. She glanced at Luke from the corner of her eye, cursing at how misinformed the old man was. Didn’t he just say that no one goes into his hut?

“Ah, Ben, good morning. This is Rey, she’s going to be teaching everyone basic survival tips. Rey, this is my nephew and my most advanced padawan, Ben Solo.”

“Hello,” Rey replied, smiling yet inwardly screaming. She _really_ didn’t want to use her real name or leave any permanent marks that could stay with Ben after this. “I’ll probably need to give you a separate training session that would be more beneficial for you.”

The Ben Solo that Rey had seen in the spaceship and on the previous levels were nothing in comparison to the real thing. His face seemed so serious, brows drawn together with worry lines permanently on his face. His frown also did not seem to be a stranger to him.

“Survival training? Master, why the kriff would any of us need something like that? We are Jedi Knights,” Ben swore, crossing his arms over his wide chest.

Rey cleared her throat, already disliking the arrogance in Ben’s voice, nor how he merely dismissed her and spoke as if she wasn’t in the room. “Ben—”

“That’s Jedi Knight, to you,” he sneered.

“Ben,” she repeated, more firmly through her gritted teeth. “You never know when you might need to survive without the Force at your disposal. You would be surprised at what I could teach you.”

“Master, you can’t be serious! Look at her! She’s so small! What could she possibly have to teach us that I could not figure out on my own?”

Heat radiated up to her cheeks. She was warned that Ben would be arrogant, but this was too much. She already had to deal with this sort of treatment on Jakku, and she didn’t need that to be repeated. “I’m going to make you eat those words if you’re not careful, Solo.”

The tall Jedi Knight scoffed. “Try me.”

“Okay, children, settle down. Please, give her a chance at least, Ben. I wouldn’t bring just anyone in to teach you. Have some faith, would you?”

Ben growled and stomped out of the hut, forgetting why he went there in the first place. Once they were alone again, Rey turned to Luke with a brow raised. “He’s a handful.”

“This dream must be set recently if his agitation was anything to go by. This is good, that means we’ll be dealing with a more real time Ben.” At Rey’s scowl, Luke let out a laugh. “He wasn’t so bad before. It’s only after he found out about Vader that he became a bit more…” Luke pondered over what word would describe his nephew but Rey cut in before he could finish.

“Asshole. Your nephew is currently an asshole.”

“You said it, not me.” Luke held his hands up and shrugged. “Come on, let's get this charade underway.”

The majority of the padawans took it rather well, which was expected, and just as expected, Ben rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently as Luke ran through what Rey would be teaching. Ben was so tall, he stood at the very back, but Rey could still see every bit of arrogance waft from him.

“Ben,” Rey snapped when the other padawans dispersed to their respective training areas. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“I have training to go to,” he protested, sputtering when Rey took his arm with a vice grip and pulled him towards the forest nearby. “Unhand me!”

Rey breathed deeply through her nostrils and counted to ten, knowing that this was all a dream and probably a result of years of pent up self-esteem issues. “Your training with me starts now.”

“Master!” Ben called out, only getting a dismissive wave from Luke.

It was only when they were far from the academy that Rey finally let go of Ben’s arm. He rubbed the offending spot as he shot her a withering glare. “Now what? Do you want me to go foraging for berries or something?”

Rey inhaled and exhaled deeply. It was now or never. “Ben,” she said, coming close towards him and into his personal space. He immediately tensed and everything around them stopped. The wind that was light became absent, the birds that should have been around were no longer heard, and the leaves from the trees started to slide at an angle. “I look familiar, don’t I?”

“What?” he breathed, all too sensitive with the change in environment.

“I’m Rey, but I’m not some survival expert brought to train everyone. I’m your security detail, like a bodyguard.”

“Don’t be preposterous.”

“Why else would your uncle be so comfortable bringing me in? Why else would you allow me to drag you away by your arm? You know it too, some part of you does, that you trust me.”

“Trust you to protect me? You?” His nose flared but Rey could see the corner of his eyes twitch, fighting against what was being said to him. “Protect me from what?”

“I specialise in subconscious security. For example, if someone was to try to use a Jedi mind trick on you, I’d know. Or in more extreme scenarios, if anyone was trying to access your mind through your dreams, I could tell. ”

“I’m dreaming?”

“You’re not safe here. Think back. Try to remember what you did this morning, more specifically, right before you went to see Luke.”

“Well, I woke up.”

Rey knew she’d laid enough breadcrumbs for doubt to sink in. The stutter in his voice and his meekness was all she needed to hear. “But what happened right after you woke up? Do you remember walking down the well trodden path to Luke’s hut? After you left, what then?”

“I greeted the young padawans.” Rey waited for Ben to elaborate. “Because that’s what I’ve done all these years. But…I can’t recall anything specific.”

Cumulonimbus clouds with strong winds picked up around them as if in response to Ben’s distress. “The weather reflects your feelings. Calm down, just breathe. You’ve been trained in this. Your Jedi training has prepared you for any attacks to your subconscious. This isn’t anything new. The changes in gravity—” Rey pointed at the leaves that hung at a weird angle. “—it’s all part of your dream.” As she remained close to Ben with their eyes locked, a part of Rey wondered what was happening in the first dream level for the leaves to be acting that way. It was what she needed to convince Ben he was in a dream but she hoped that the treehouse was still safe.

“You. You’re not real.”

“No, I’m not.”

“This is not real.”

“No. I’ve confronted you because there is someone trying to extract secrets from your mind, and they have gone through many levels of your subconscious already. I need you to relax and trust me.” The once arrogant Ben Solo seemed to crumble before her eyes. His eyes widened and his brows tilted upwards with a sort of emotion Rey didn’t expect to see—fear.

“I’m sorry.”

That took her by surprise but kept herself composed. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I didn’t think he was bad. He’s been with me for so long, I didn’t think anything of it,” Ben said desperately, breaths becoming short as his eyes became wild. “I thought it was normal to have someone talking to me. Whispering to me. I thought it was the Force.”

“But even you knew that the Force doesn’t talk to you. Not like that.” Rey had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but whatever it was, it looked to be feeding off Ben’s anguish and turmoil.

At her calm words, Ben nodded. “That’s why I’ve stayed for so long. Even after I found out _they_ lied to me about Darth Vader,” he spat. “I still stayed. I don’t know what to do.”

There was a loud thud in the distance, like a large tree collapsing. “Breathe,” Rey instructed. “I’m here to help. Accept that this is a dream and that I can help make things better. Your mind is at its limit. That’s why I’ve come to you now.”

The wind calmed down and the clouds started to clear, but not entirely. “What do I do?”

“We lay low so as not to rouse any suspicion. Someone else is here and we need to be on alert for when they make their move.”

Ben hung his head, shaking his hair from side to side. “I should just give in. It’s easier, isn’t it?”

“You would have done that a long time ago if you thought it would be that easy.”

“So, what? I just go about this dream as if I don’t have someone trying to destroy my mind?” he asked with hysteria. “Why don’t I just try and wake up? You can make me wake up from this horrible dream!” Ben grabbed Rey and shook her violently.

“Ben!” She thread her arms up and around his own, fingers digging into his skin. “If you wake up, what would that solve?” He diverted his gaze. “That’s what I thought. You want this to happen. You want me to help you. _Let me_.”

“How?” he asked weakly.

“By teaching you how to survive, like Luke said. I’ll stay with you until we can find the person infiltrating your mind. I’ll make sure you’re safe.” Rey smiled lightly and pulled away to lead him back towards the academy. Just as she stepped out of his personal space, a hand shot out and took her own. Rey looked down and blinked before looking back at Ben’s face. “It’ll be okay,” she reassured once more, voice soft and calming. “Let’s go.”

Together they walked back down to the Jedi Academy, hand in hand with their shoulders lightly bumping into the other. His mind returned to its neutral state, sun shining down upon them without a single cloud in the sky to be seen. There was a light breeze and a faint sound of birds twittering could be heard. It was nice.


	8. The Beginnings

The first few days within Ben’s dream were fairly innocuous. He was still on edge and looked around a bit more than Rey would have liked, but was harmless overall. The padawans milling around that were part of his subconscious would stop and stare at the duo sometimes, only to look away and resume their activities when Rey rubbed his back reassuringly. Luke undoubtedly noticed this.

“It worked?” he asked, two days after they arrived in Ben’s dream.

“Spectacularly. Rather than being arrogant, he’s just afraid now.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know yet, but I think someone has been in his mind a lot longer than we have. I’ll keep you updated.”

As more days passed, it became startlingly clear that Ben hearing a conversation between his parents as a child was not the sole reason for his inner turmoil. She didn’t know when to bring up the man...voice... _whatever_ , that Ben had mentioned initially. She certainly didn’t want to blow her cover, knowing that if she outrightly asked him Ben would see something was amiss. Afterall, she was meant to be his subconscious; she should know about the voice already.

His dream was the most accurate representation of his life that Rey could obtain. For that fact alone, she could see how isolated he was from the others. As Luke tried to go about his days from memory, the other padawans were just whispers of how Ben perceived them to be. Even though Ben was the oldest amongst them and therefore had more authority over them, there was a sort of tension that hung between them. It was like there was a rift that separated Ben from the other padawans.

“He’s always been like that,” Luke told her when she asked. “He was my only student for a while, so he had a head start over the other students. His being older than the others didn’t help either, nor that he practically loomed over everyone else. The fact that he is my nephew only made it look even worse, which is why we never address each other familiarly in public.”

“Did he ever come to speak to you privately, nephew to uncle?”

Luke pondered for a moment. “Well, no, but he knows he can come talk to me anytime. He must know that.” When Rey sent him a doubtful look, Luke’s heart dropped. “He must…”

Regardless, Rey kept Ben company when he was not training with the other padawans. When Rey first arrived, she noticed immediately that he took his meals alone from the others, and not just by himself in his hut, but he would take his food and leave the academy completely. Luke never looked twice when he did so, so Rey figured it must have been a regular occurrence.

She lasted two days before she followed him with her own plate of rations. Whether he knew she was following him or not, he didn’t give any indication that he was against the idea. With a few feet between them, the pair trekked through the forest that lined the Jedi Academy, ducking under low branches and hopping over clear streams. Eventually, they reached the other side, and a gasp caught in Rey’s throat at the expansive field of flowers before her. The yellow was different to Jakku, each flower in the field being bell shaped and tilted downwards slightly. She never thought that a tone of yellow would take her breath away such as it did. Despite the beautiful scenery before her, man in black stuck out like a sore thumb in the field of yellow.

“You come here to eat?” she asked, still close enough for Ben to hear.

“You know I do.”

Rey rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything else. They ate in silence, Ben not needing to speak and Rey not knowing what she could say. She had a thousand questions buzzing in her mind, dying to burst out in the open but Rey kept them shut. She would wait for him to talk first.

-

“Again.”

Rey watched as Ben trained a group of young padawans who could not be more than fifteen years old. Despite being a dream, he still insisted on going about his normal activities and training routines. This included his caustic remarks and acerbic demeanor when the padawans fell to the ground, unable to hold their own against Ben.

“Get up.”

“Is this how he’s like in real life?” Rey asked Luke, who stood next to her in the doorway of his hut overlooking the training grounds.

Ben’s stern and stringent voice echoed between them, neither saying a word as they watched his strict teaching methods.

“It wasn’t this unpleasant until recently.” Luke flinched as Ben continued to shout at the students. “He was never like this before he found out about Darth Vader. The change caught me by surprise, but thinking back, I guess I didn’t want to accept what was happening.”

She bit the inside of her mouth until she felt the familiar coppery taste against her tongue. With her jaw set, Rey refused to spare Luke a glance. It felt like there was a hole in her stomach, her insides clenching around nothing. Without looking back, Rey strode towards Ben, leaving Luke to wallow in his guilt alone.

-

“This is nice,” Ben said one day. “Being able to just sit here in silence.”

Rey didn’t know how to respond to that so she kept quiet. When their meal was almost done, he turned and pointed at her. “If you’re a projection of my subconscious, why do you look like that?”

Rey tried to look nonchalant as she struggled to find an excuse for her sandy colored clothing. “Well, you must have seen me somewhere if I’ve taken this shape. Does my form bother you?”

“No, it’s just...unexpected.” Ben looked thoughtful but left it at that, much to Rey’s relief. She knew it was all a lie, but he didn’t know that. People’s minds were so easily manipulated that if convincing enough, they would fabricate false memories to suit their beliefs.  Depending on how good his mental defences were, his own mind would trick himself into thinking he knew her as a random passerby. Rey could practically see the gears turning in his head, forcing his mind to see Rey in a marketplace or somewhere from his childhood.

-

Being within Ben’s dream for an extended period of time was odd. Days passed like normal and when it was time for everyone to retire, the night passed in a blink of an eye. Today was no different. She had just sat down on her bed with the melody of cicadas singing her to sleep when they stopped abruptly, loud chirping replacing the low stridulation. It unnerved her but she never felt tired, which was understandable since she was within a dream.

However, there was another sound that was foreign to her ears. It was like a light _tap, tap, tap_.

With her curiosity piqued, Rey poked her head outside only to flinch at something wet on her face.

 _Rain_.

She couldn’t help herself and ran outside. Rey spinning around in the rain with a huge grin that stretched over her face was the first thing Ben saw as he came up to her hut seconds later.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s raining!”

“Sun showers but okay,” he corrected, popping his hip to rest his hand as he watched Rey dance around in the rain. “Why are you doing that?”

“Because I never see rain!” For a brief moment, she totally forgot where she was or why she was there. Spinning on the tips of her toes, she turned and caught sight of Ben. He looked confused and puzzled, body tense with his fingers twitching at his side.

“Rey.”

Ben’s low voice made her slow to a stop. His serious face ruined the mood, leaving herself feeling slightly deflated and humiliated. She sighed and moved to brush past him, ready for the day ahead but his hand stopped her from leaving. She waited, unsure of what was to come. Then slowly, the edges of his lips tilted upwards and his grip slackened until his hand just slipped from her wrist.

Then as if in slow motion, Ben stepped backwards and jumped into a small puddle. And then he leapt into another one. And another one. And another until he jumped a full circle around Rey. The smile on his face was like how she imagined it to look. It made him more handsome with his worry lines fading.

The mission, the dream, Leia on the previous level, all of it seemed so inconsequential to her. Living there in the moment, Rey followed his lead and jumped into the puddle he just vacated. Mud splashed onto the edges of her pants but she didn’t care. This was the closest to happiness she had felt in a long time.

-

True to her word, she taught Ben some tricks she learnt over the years on Jakku. Different knots and how to tie a makeshift harness to abseil from different heights were such that caught his interest.

“Here, this is how you do it.” With ropes secured to her waist and groin, Rey flipped the remaining length over her shoulder and began to climb the tree they were beside.

“Are you sure this is safe? Wait, how high are you going?” He watched Rey climb higher and higher, finally stopping at a thick branch that was far too high for Ben’s liking. “Rey!” Ben yelled but all he heard was laughter from above. His palms became sweaty seeing Rey drop a line of rope over the edge of the branch towards him. “Rey,” Ben growled.

“Don’t worry!” she sang right before she started to glide down. The speed at which she was going made Ben jump towards her as if trying to catch her. That only made Rey laugh harder. She swung her body so she could kick off the tree as she abseiled towards Ben, grinning with the wind in her hair and clothes flapping around.

When she got down, her cheeks were red from laughter, but the look on Ben’s face only made her laugh harder. There was a slight sheen across his forehead and with the panicked look on his face, Ben must have thought she was really going to plummet to her doom.

“Don’t worry, Ben,” she repeated. “I’m an expert at this and remember, this is a dream after all.” The dark look that passed over Ben’s face made her regret her jostling. “Hey, Ben—”

“Nothing!” Ben snapped, stomping to the tree Rey had just vacated and proceeded to climb like she had just done.

Try to climb, at least.

Rey had to stifle her giggles at the sight of Ben clawing at the tree but inevitably slipping against the rough bark. Again and again, he backed up and charged towards the tree like an animal, snarling as he tried to get some sort of grip on the trunk. Seeing Ben becoming flustered with his hair stuck in all directions only made Rey erupts with peals of laughter.

“Stop laughing!” With bared teeth, he crossed the space between them in three strides until there was only a small space separating them. “I said stop laughing! It’s not funny!”

The moment his hands grasped her shoulders, the laughter died on her lips. In a matter of seconds, the image of Ben falling on his ass repeatedly was like a distant memory. With him crowding her, she couldn’t help stare at his face. He was absolutely furious at her teasing and yet, Rey couldn’t bring herself to care, not when it brought so much life to his eyes. Anger glimmered in his eyes as they bore into her, penetrating her as if she would yield, but she didn’t. If she did, it would be for an entirely different reason.

With red cheeks and a small pout forming, Ben drew himself closer toward her. His nostrils flared with each inhale, chest puffing and bumping against her. Rey became all too aware of his touch and his movements. She had to get away.

“Remember, this is all a dream,” she breathed.

And just like that, the moment, whatever that was, was broken. She felt a slight twitch of his hand as it pulled away, clenched tightly in a ball by his side. “Yes, this is just a dream.”

“That means you can manipulate things to your advantage.” Rey moved around his still figure, thankful to be putting some distance between them. “If you concentrate, you can make the tree thinner or easier to grab.”

Without turning around, he gritted out from between his clenched teeth, “But then that would defeat the purpose of this exercise. How would I be able to do this in real life if I cheat now?”

Rey hummed, trying to disarm the tension between them. “In that case, use the rope to help you.” It took longer than she would have liked, but she demonstrated wrapping the long ends of her rope around the trunk of the tree and pulled until they were taut. “Like this,” she instructed, leaning back slightly to show the rope holding her weight. She slid the rope upwards and propped her feet against the tree and continued to shuffle upwards until it looked like she was walking up the side.

“Aren’t you scared that you’ll slip and hurt yourself?” Ben had turned around and was now standing flush against the base of the trunk, head craned upwards as he watched in awe at her skills.

“I’m an expert at this, remember?” she called down, twisting her wrist so more rope wrapped around her palm, ensuring the right amount of tension remained in the rope. The last thing she wanted was to slip and fall to her death. After all, who knew what would happen to Luke or Leia? Shaking her head, she continued climbing.  

When she got back to the forest floor once again, she was greeted by Ben’s stoic face. He just looked at her blankly, which was surprising considering how amazed he was moments ago. It was when he took a few steps towards her that she saw the apprehension he kept at bay. He was nervous.

“Show me,” he mumbled, eyes diverted towards the ground.

“Of course, Ben,” Rey said, smiling as she took his hand in hers. She led them towards the base of the tree, all whilst trying to ignore how _right_ it felt to have her hand in his.

 


	9. The Rationale

She lost track of how long she had been in his dream. It could have been a mere few minutes, but it felt like an eon. Such were the effects of dreaming. The weather changed, shifting to more warmer temperatures; a climate that Rey was used to.

When Ben approached her one morning and pulled her towards the other side of the forest, she was clueless as to why he abandoned his Jedi Knight responsibilities to go ‘swimming’. As Rey trailed behind Ben through parts of the forest that were unfamiliar to her, she could see how unacclimated he was to the heat. From the back she could see his hair plastered to his neck, the collar of his uniform slightly damp, and flush of his cheeks whenever he turned around to make sure Rey was still following him.

“How are you not drenched like I am?” he asked, just as he swiped at his forehead.

Rey shrugged. “Guess I’m just more tolerant of heat than you are.”

“How? We’re the same.”

“Yes, but not anymore.” Rey stopped next to him and sized him up the best she could. “Now you’re quick to anger. Impatient. For example, when Luke used to train you, he gave you plenty of encouragement while you give none to the students you teach.”

“It’s for their own good,” he bit out, looking down at her.

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “What’s the point? Why bother being unnecessarily strict with them?”

“You know why!”

Her rebuttal died on her lips, anger simmering beneath the surface as she remembered that Ben truly thought she was part of him. With her lips pursed, she stepped forward until there was barely any space between them. “Pretend I don’t. Pretend I don’t know anything about your life. Maybe admitting some things out loud will put things into perspective.”

Ben’s own lips pressed together into a thin line. “Come on,” he said, ending the conversation whether Rey wanted it to or not.

Their journey further into the forest continued in silence, neither wanting to strike up a new conversation. Despite the canopy above shielding them from the harsh sunlight, the heat was still thick, unable to break free from the uppermost branches of the forest. If anything, it felt like it got worse the deeper they went to wherever Ben was leading Rey. Wherever Ben was taking her must be worth the effort.

"We're here."

Rey startled at his voice, causing her to look up and cock her head. "I don't see anything."

A boyish grin appeared on Ben's face, hands coming up to beckon her closer. When she didn't move, he dropped his arms at his side and looked mildly deflated. "Don't you trust me?"

"It's not that." She inched closer to where Ben stood. She could see he was close to a ledge of some sort, spying water beyond it, but there was a long drop separating them from it. "I just—" How was she to tell him that she, his supposed subconscious, had never seen enough water to know how to swim?

When she did creep close enough, the air was stolen from her lungs at the mix of blues and greens in the pool of water below. "Is that—?"

"Where else would I take us on this day? It's absolutely scorching," he chortled as he started shucking off his shoes. "Come on, the water is amazing." Then without another glance, he lept over the ledge and dove gracefully into the water.

A minute or so passed before he reappeared, hair plastered to his face but from the cool water this time. He rubbed his eyes and flicked his head, stray water droplets spraying in all direction. "Come on!" he called to her. "What are you waiting for? You may tolerate the heat, but this is so much better!"

"O-Okay," Rey stuttered, taking as much time as she could to take her shoes off. She really did not want to go in, much less dive from above like he did. She shifted her weight from side to side, peering over the edge as she did so, watching as he swam around in circles and splashed water around. If she was back on Jakku, she would be horrified at the water being wasted.

"Rey! Come on! Are you scared?" Ben stopped his splashes. "I don't think I was ever scared of the water. Maybe heights? Rey! Are you scared of heights?" he called up to her.

Rey rolled her eyes. If she was scared of heights then she would have failed as a scavenger long ago.

"I'll catch you!" Ben swam closer to the edge, waiting with open arms. "Don't be afraid!"

"I'm not!" she sniped. Not wanting to delay the inevitable, she closed her eyes and held her breath, stepping over the side and falling. Plummeting towards the water with no sort of harness made her snap her eyes open, a screech ripped from her mouth as she hit the surface. Bubbles floated around her and into her vision, her arms flailing to somehow thrash her way back to the surface. Was this how she would go? Was this blunder be the reason she failed the mission?

Through her panicked thoughts, a pair of strong hands gripped her arms and pulled her to the surface. She sputtered and coughed the water from her lungs, body shaking as she looked up at how far she dropped.

"I got you," Ben whispered, keeping her close as she looked around wildly. "It's like you've never done this before," he laughed.

"Maybe I haven't," she seethed, trying to push herself from him. The moment he let go, she sank under with more water being forced down her throat.

"Okay then," Ben said, pulling her to the surface before paddling them both to the shoreline. "Here, grab this." He offered her a vine from one of the overhanging trees. "Hold this so you don't drown suddenly."

Rey nodded numbly, too freaked out to care about keeping up his subconscious persona. She held onto the vine tightly, watching as he abandoned her and swam away. "Where are you going?"

"Just because you can't swim doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself," he said before diving under the surface.

"I can totally swim," she muttered, still holding onto the vine. "This is just a dumb dream. I just have to concentrate.”

If he could manipulate trees to climb, then she could learn how to swim. She could do this. Ben swam under her and grabbed her ankle playfully.

“Ah!” Rey shrieked, legs kicking with difficulty in hopes that a blow would connect.

When he popped his head above the water, cackling, Rey growled and kicked off towards him. His grin was all Rey could see as she splashed towards him, too angry to notice she was in the middle of the lake until she reached the chortling man. With his large shoulders in the palm of her small hands, she shook him violently, a snarl on her face.

“Don’t do that!!”

Ben’s laughter merely floated over her angry cries. “But look! You’re swimming. See, I told you you could do it.”

“That’s beside the point.” Rey lifted her foot and booted Ben in the chest, propelling them apart.

“You wound me, Rey.”

Ignoring his jest, she imitated his actions, arms and legs apart as she floated on her back. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears, a part of her still scared that she would drown, and took deep breaths to stave off her worries. She heard splashes next to her and dared to look to the side. The filtered sunlight fell over Ben, bouncing off his glistening hair and lighting up his face. He smiled widely as he tread water around her.

“Seems like you got the hang of it,” he said, grinning.

He moved closer to her but stopped when Rey snapped at him. “No, don’t!” Suspicion was clear in her voice.

Ben merely showed his teeth and floated closer. “Trust me, Rey.”

“What? No! Ben—!” Rey squealed as Ben’s strong arms wrapped around her torso, lifting her high above the water. “What are you doing?!”

“Giving you a view worth dying for!”

With shaking hands propped on his shoulders, Rey steadied herself enough to look around. The beams of light illuminated the dust and mist that hung in the air, as if there was a blanket of glitter over the lake. Her eyes slipped shut and with a deep inhale, all her worries about swimming or being inside a dream seemed to melt from her. There must have been a river nearby, as her ears picked up soft echoes of roiling water, splashing and spilling over rocks. Croaks and buzzing filled the air from the fauna, adding to the tranquil melody.

“It’s nice, huh?” Ben asked, voice soft as if to match the peacefulness.

Rey hummed and released more weight into his arms. Her fingers slipped from his shoulders, arms dangling by her side, swaying to the beat of water until her centre tilted backwards, pulling herself and Ben into the water.

Neither had a chance to yell as they submerged. Panic should have taken over Rey’s body but all she could think and see was Ben; his hands tightly grasped with hers and the look of concentration on his face as he pulled them both to the surface.

The pair punched the surface, water spritzed everywhere as they caught their breaths.

“Fun, right?” Rey barely heard him speak, her eyes fixated on his face that reminded her of the child she imagined him to be. Her hair was still up in three buns, even after all this time, while thick droplets clung to his flattened hair. She reached up and nudged his hair aside, revealing more of the face that had grown on her.

There was a serious aura that hung between them, neither speaking with only a thin space separating them. He clung onto her arms as she moved her hand over his cheek, cupping it and rubbing circles into his skin. “We should head back,” she whispered.

“No.” He leaned into her touch. “I told Master Skywalker that we won’t be back until tomorrow. This is our time to relax and enjoy my favourite spot.”

“You come here often?”

“Only when it’s unbearably hot.” He looked up, quickly calculating how far into the day it was. “The sun is setting soon. Come on, we still have to walk to our makeshift camp.”

Rey’s eyebrows rose. “Camp?”

“Of course. Where else will we sleep?”

“Of course,” she mumbled to herself as Ben broke away, swimming to the shoreline with Rey not far behind.

-

Ben had visited this part of the forest over the course of his life at the Jedi Academy so many times that he had a permanent camp set up on the far side. The fact that it was a dream probably made everything look like it was frequently visited as there were no branches or dirt covering his campsite. The thing she noticed straight away was that there was only one makeshift bed.

As she sat around the fire later that night with a grilled fish in her hands, she wondered how she got into this mess. The suffocating heat didn’t help either. She didn’t anticipate having to stay in a dream level for so long, much less grow attached to her target. Now as she absentmindedly chewed on her fish, she contemplated if she should just run. Run and hide. Run and hide and take Ben with her. Or if she could stay in his dream forever, but then Luke and Leia would be trapped here as well. She scowled, remembering that she was not alone in this.

Annoyance and anger coursed through her, knowing that this was all fake and that nothing more could come from it. The crackling fire brought her momentarily from her thoughts, catching Ben’s face and putting her at ease. Soft yellows of the fire flooding his face only made her chest clench uncomfortably.

“What’s wrong?” he asked without looking up from his fish.

“Nothing.” Rey continued to watch him, falling deeper into a hole she never wanted to be in. “Nothing,” she repeated, softer so that he couldn’t hear.

Later that night, she wondered what was the point of it all. As she laid on the small pallet, facing towards Ben, she briefly entertained the idea of sabotaging the mission before she was interrupted.

“This is nice,” he breathed, puffs of hot air licking her nose. They were so close. She wanted to gravitate more towards him, reach out and trace his lips with her fingers, dab each of his beauty spots, and touch him with the care he denied himself. “This is the longest time the voice has left me alone.”

Rey didn’t dare move, paralysed by what she was hearing. It had been so long since he mentioned it that she almost forgot about it.

“The voice always whispered to me. He never left me alone and only got more persistent after I found out about Darth Vader--no, about my grandfather,” he corrected. “It made me doubt so many things, question everyone around me. Even my parents.” With closed eyes, he chuckled. “Who I wouldn’t trust even if I didn’t have a voice whispering to me.”

“Why?” She needed to hear it from his own mouth.

He stiffened, nose scrunched up with his lips pressed together. “Because I heard them talk about me when I was a kid. My father said I had too much Vader in me. At the time I didn’t understand, I mean, why would I? I was only a child. I was so angry.” Ben opened his eyes and stared into Rey’s hazel ones. “I had started to train with Luke because I thought it was what they wanted. I thought being in control of the Force was something to make them proud, but all it did was drive my father away from me. My mother still hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” said Rey, trying her best not to agitate him.

“I know. Actually no, do I?” Rey didn’t respond to his question. “I started all this Jedi stuff because Mom would cringe around me. No, not cringe, that’s too strong. Wince? Flinch? Recoil? Regardless, she didn’t feel safe around me.”

Rey wanted to reassure him and tell him it wasn’t his fault, but she kept her lips firmly shut.

“I was just a child. I didn’t mean to do it.” Something gleamed in Ben’s eye and before Rey realised what was happening, fat tears pooled at the corners. “I didn’t mean to look in her mind,” he admitted. She wanted to reach out and hug him, hold him tightly like she did to the child version of himself in the previous dream. “I trained so hard for so long, hoping that I could make Mom proud and love me, but now I know who Vader is,” he continued with tears rolling down his cheeks, leaving salt marks that Rey wanted to wipe away. “He destroyed Mom’s homeworld. He was a monster, and despite this, she thinks I’m like him? Am I?”

“No, you’re not. You’re different. You’re her son.”

“Vader is her father, he’s family, and yet she still hates him. Family means nothing.” His eyes still glistened with unshed tears but the anguish was absent. “The voice always wanted me to leave Luke’s academy, to make a life for myself, away from them.”

“But you stayed.”

“Yeah, I stayed,” he laughed with a shaky voice. “I guess I’m still hoping that I’m wrong about Mom.”

Rey took his hand and grasped it tightly. “It’s okay.” Her fingers moved so they laced his. “It’s good that you stayed.”

“The other padawans don’t think so.” He laughed again, this time it was lighter. “I’m too strict with them, but it’s for their own good. They’re so young, they don’t know the kind of judgement that faces them. If I can train them and make them strong, stronger than me, then no one can ever do anything against them. Words will just be words to them if they can accomplish anything.”

“You can’t project your own hardships on them. It’s not right. They don’t deserve your acerbic attitude during training. You’ll just become like your mom in their eyes; someone they will never be able to please.”

Ben watched Rey closely, eyes darting around her face as if he could find a flaw in her argument on her cheek. Then, his eyes softened and lips slanted upwards slightly. “I’m glad I stayed. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have met you.”

Rey frowned, not trusting the way his lids seemed to relax and become drowsy. “But I am you, Ben.”

“I don’t care,” he murmured, moving forwards until their lips touched. The kiss was quick and chaste, over before Rey could even realise what was happening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT ALL THOSE TROPES :))))))))


	10. The Fabrication

Ben’s hubris was subdued afterwards when it came to training padawans. He still snapped on occasion, but he lost his usual bite. Rey watched from her position, perched on a rock like she had countless times before. Luke came up to her, and together they watched Ben’s training session.

“Something is different,” he commented.

“Yes, he’s told me a lot. I think we can progress to the next level soon.”

Luke regarded her seriously. “Rey.”

She hummed noncommittally, smiling when Ben waved at her from across the camp. She felt giddy and more alive than ever.

“This isn’t real, Rey.”

“What?” Rey turned to Luke so quick that her neck made a noise.

“Whatever has happened between you two, it isn’t real.”

Rey steeled herself and kept herself perfectly still. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw how close you two were when you came back from that trip. You were holding hands.”

By now, she was shaking, no longer able to remain collected. “I know this isn’t real,” she said, voice cracking.

“You have to finish this. The longer you stay here, the more dangerous it is for you. You’re falling in love with something that isn’t real.”

“Why?” she hissed. “Why can’t this be real? I’ve been alone my whole life, I know what he’s going through. I know what it’s like!”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Rey.” Luke laid a hand on her shoulder, but she shook free from his touch.

“You don’t understand. You and Leia don’t understand, that’s why you sought me out to do this. Neither of you understand him.”

“You’re becoming like him. Saying things without explanations. If there’s something we are obviously missing, tell us!”

“Maybe you should be talking to Ben, rather than getting me to spy on him.” Rey jumped from her rock and stormed away, not caring for Luke or anyone else. She only had eyes on Ben. “Come on,” she commanded, interrupting his lesson to pull him towards the forest she had come to know as _theirs_.

She pulled him through the trees, going down the well trodden path towards the field of yellow where they spent so much time. With heavy boots and anger coursing through her veins, Rey stomped through the field, nostrils flaring as her hands swung at the tall flowers around her. She wanted to scream, but only pursed her lips, fingers ripping the grass and flowers by her side.

“Rey!” Ben called. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Seeing Ben’s face crowd her vision calmed her somewhat. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

He held her at arm's length, hunched over with his back curling so that he could catch her eyes, smile soft on his face. “You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She puffed, blowing at his hair that fell from behind his ear. “I just needed to get away.”

“Alright.” He leaned over to give her a quick kiss, only for Rey’s hand to dart out and snatch the collar of his shirt.

With his clothing crumpled tightly in her fist, she pulled him close, lips never leaving his. She needed him like she needed water and air. She felt him tense under her firm grip, only for his body to slacken and ease into her warmth. His hands came up and cupped her cheeks, the tips of his fingers kneading into her hairline. His tongue slipped past her lips and she sighed, heart in her throat.

When they broke apart, lips red and glistening, she felt like she was high above the ground; she felt weightless. Rey opened her eyes, dazed and languid with a small smile. Ben matched her expression, his eyes relaxed and glittering.

Together, they sighed and fell amongst the field of flowers, flattening the fragile plants with their weight. She laced her fingers with his and looked up at the sky, pointing at the various odd shaped clouds. It was childish and silly but sometimes, it was nice to pretend that life was that simple. This was just what she needed and she never wanted it to end.

“I’m glad I met you.”

His voice shattered her cheery disposition. She didn’t want to turn to face him, scared that he would confirm something she wasn’t ready to admit.

He continued, not noticing her sudden strained demeanor. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t ever want to wake up if it means I can stay here with you, forever. We could possibly take one of Master’s ships? I wonder what the other planets look like in my dream. We can even-”

As Ben carried on with his plans for their life together, it became increasingly apparent with each sentence what Luke was trying to tell her.

‘ _The longer you stay here, the more dangerous it is for you._ ’

It hurt. A lot.

Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t stay any longer. She couldn’t stay with him. It was one thing for her to have fantasies of never leaving, but for him to voice her desires to her face? It was too much to bear.

The clouds passed over the couple, a welcoming distraction to Rey as she tried her hardest not to cry.

-

“What do you have in mind?”

Luke looked up from his book, surprised but glad to see Rey. “We need to finish the mission. Do you have what you need?”

Rey regarded the old man with hard eyes. He might as well have asked if she found out enough to fix him. Nevertheless, she replied, “Yes.”

“How shall we proceed?”

She hated how she knew what they had to do. “We have to fake an attack and say it’s the person breaking through his defences. If you disguise yourself, I’ll capture you so Ben and I can interrogate you by going through your mind. I’ll use the same method I’ve been using to go into dreams so when he takes my hand, I’ll actually go to the next level instead. Time in the third level should be extremely fast so by the time I come back, he would not have even noticed. If all goes to plan, we should all wake up then anyways.”

“You’ve thought about this.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this,” she replied bitterly.

“Will it be enough?”

“It should be. I’ll convince Ben that you’re the imposter.”

“No, I mean, will you be able to survive the next level?”

Rey tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Ben’s projections are not so bad here because you’ve gained his trust and he’s become complacent, but they’re still very much real in the first dream level.” Rey wanted to ask what he meant but he explained it before she could interrupt him. “I feel Leia through the Force. It’s even stronger since we’re in Ben’s dream, and I can almost see the hoard of projections trying to tear down the tree house. You may not have realised but the projections this level aren’t as passive as you think either. While you’re with Ben, the padawans here eye me for too long, like they know I don’t belong. Just...be careful, Rey. Whatever you plan on doing in the next level, you have to prepare yourself.”

Rey placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I think I know how to help him. Just leave it to me.”

-

It was a neat touch for Luke to take the form of his projections from the previous level. With a black robe and hood drawn over his eyes, his face looked extremely ordinary; there was nothing that could be remotely interesting. He looked like someone who could blend easily into a crowd. He looked exactly how Rey wanted him to look.

Now, kneeling in front of both Rey and Ben, Luke’s face remained stoic without uttering a word. Since changing your appearance didn’t change your voice either, Rey and Luke both agreed for him to keep his lips sealed.

Rey kept her face forward but her eyes slid to the side, watching as Ben interrogated him.

“Who are you?” Ben asked firmly. “I know you’ve been here all along. I could _feel_ it, feel your presence. Did you really think I wouldn’t know? That you wouldn’t get caught in the end? THIS IS MY MIND!” His voice rose several octaves that it cracked at his last statement. He panted, mouth twisted into a teeth bearing snarl as he reached out to Luke. “What do you want from me?!”

“Ben!” Rey had to intervene, not expecting Ben to physically touch Luke. As she pried his fingers from Luke’s collar, she gave the Jedi Master credit for remaining neutral, even after being practically spat on by his nephew. “You’re not going to get anything from him. He didn’t say a word or even look bothered when I caught him.”

“So what do you propose then?” He shot a look of disdain at Luke, the man still looking just past their faces.

“We could try go through his mind? There’s no hiding secrets in there.” She gestured at her temple for good measure.

“How? I mean, I can read people’s mind but I’ve never done it _with_ someone.” Ben thought hard, fingers absentmindedly stroking his chin.

“You must know to some extent if I know,” said Rey, playing her part perfectly. “Just take my hand and we’ll do this together.” She smiled, trying to reassure him.

Ben didn’t say anything, the corners of his mouth tugging downwards slightly. “Does this mean that this is over?” Rey remained silent, not wanting to believe it either. “If we go through his mind and we find what we’re looking for, does that mean we’ll wake up? That I will wake up,” he quickly corrected. “It’ll mean that I’ll wake up.”

“I guess it does,” Rey softly said.

He frowned deeply. “I really wanted this to last forever,” he murmured. “I wish we had more time.”

“Hey.” Rey took Ben’s face in her hands and forced him to look at her. “I’ll always be here.” She laid a hand against his breast. “If you forget, it doesn’t matter, because I’ll always be with you.”

Ben enveloped her in a tight hug, face buried into her hair that was always up in her three buns. “I love you.”

His whisper was muffled but Rey heard him clear as day. She clung onto him, fingers digging into the fabric of his training robes, not caring if Luke was witnessing this incredibly personal moment between them. She pulled back and gave an encouraging smile. “Let’s do this.”

“Okay, but first.” He captured her lips before she could say anything, not that Rey intended to. She melted into his touch and taste. Her eyes fluttered along with her heart as her hands came up to play with the tufts of hair at the base of his neck.

If Luke could say something or communicate to her, she wouldn’t doubt that he would be warning her about how close she had gotten. She didn’t care if Luke saw this, she didn’t care if he knew how attached she had become. All that mattered was that this was her last moment with Ben.

When they finally pulled away, she didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. She held her hand up to Ben, waiting for the inevitable.

“See you on the other side,” he said, just as he took her hand, fingers threading with hers.

She hated herself as her thumb rubbed circles into the back of his hand. As his eyes slipped shut, she quickly went into his mind and the next level, not daring to spare a glance at Luke.

-

Dreams and levels were finicky. No one understood it completely, much less Rey, but the split second she felt herself falling to the next level, she switched dreams. She had to use her imagination and what little she knew about the Force and the different sides of it to conjure a darkened place. You didn’t need to know where you were to know that there was something nefarious and sinister going on.

“Is this...a Sith Temple?” Ben asked, staying close to Rey.

She had no idea they had temples, much less what they looked like so she thanked the Maker for her luck. “I guess so.”

“Why? Why would he have a Sith Temple in his mind? Unless-” Ben trailed off, refusing to voice his thoughts.

Rey didn’t have time for this so she conjured up some fake projections, to emphasize to Ben how dire the situation was. “Watch out!” she yelled, pulling him out of the way just as blasters shot past him. Just as another blast whizzed towards them, Rey held her hand before her, fingers splayed and froze the bolt before them. Ben collapsed behind her in shock, eyes transfixed at the bright plasma beam before she sent it back where it came from. A small group of fake projections stood at the end of the hallway, all in black robes with a different weapon in each of their hands. “Ben, whatever it is on your mind, it’s going to have to wait. We need to deal with them first.”

“Rey, I don’t feel good about this place. The voice in my head-ah!” Ben yelped as Rey pulled him around a corner to prevent him from getting shot.

“Keep going while I think of a plan.” Kneeling, Rey peaked around the corner, knowing that none of the blasters would actually hit her.

“The voice in my head, the one that whispered to me for all my life. It kept going on about how my Mom didn’t deserve me and how I’m better off without her. After finding out about Darth Vader, the voice just made so much more sense, more than ever. After all, if my Mom couldn’t forgive Vader for his crimes after saving her, and thinks that I’m like him, then what are the chances that she truly trusts me?”

“So, you think she’s here? Do you think they have your mom?”

“What? No, but now that you mention it.” The pair pressed against the wall as another shot ricocheted off the brick wall. “Do you think she’s really here? If this is what’s inside the spy’s head, then this is what’s really happening in real life. They have her!”

Rey had to hide the surprise that went through her mind; it was startling how he made that leap of judgement without Rey saying anything. Did that mean that Ben had a feeling this was what would eventually happen? Is that why he really never left the Academy? Whoever was whispering in his mind didn’t have his full trust, not like her.

“Okay, if they do have her, then she should be here somewhere. Go! Find her!”

“Wait, what about you? You’re defenceless.”

Rey scoffed. “Not necessarily. I am you, so I can use the Force. Don’t worry about me. Get to your mom!”

Ben bit his lip, uncertainty evident across his face. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Don’t worry about me. Remember, I’m always here. I’ll always be here.” She pressed her lips against his cheekbone, her hand caressing his face with love. “Go. Your mom needs you.”

Despite the turmoil within Ben, he reluctantly turned and rushed down the hallway. Once alone, Rey blew a sigh of relief and thumped her head against the brick behind her. There was no rush; Ben would be running around the temple for a while until Rey decided it was enough. The moment he disappeared from view, the projections stopped blasting her and vanished.

A vile taste crept into her mouth as she changed the environment around her, imagining how Leia would look, arms bound with dirtied robes. She didn’t move from her spot, manipulating the dream so that Ben would be the one to come back to her. Unable to hide her voice, she stuffed some cloth into her mouth before binding her wrists, and waited in a makeshift jail cell.

A small stretch of time passed before Ben’s footsteps echoed around her. No longer in a hallway but in a small cell, one of several rows in front of her, she remained motionless until Ben’s face came into view.

“Mom!” he cried, hands gripping the rusty bars that separated them. “You’re really here!”

Rey struggled against her restraints, only muffled sounds coming from her.

“I didn’t believe it to be true,” Ben said, fumbling the lightsaber clipped to his waist. “This shouldn’t have happened.” The green from his lightsaber bathed his face as he sliced through the bars that stood in his way. “Why did this happen?” he screamed, nostrils flared.

He stomped into the cell, but didn’t go to her immediately. Instead, he waited, stood at the threshold, panting and deep in thought. Rey looked towards the ground, shame painted over her face and avoided his eyes. She didn’t need to look up to hear him pace, his boots kicking and grinding the dirt with the humming sounds of his lightsaber still lit.

“I never left, even after what you hid from me. I stayed because I didn’t want to become the very thing you thought I would. I wanted to prove that I’m **not Darth Vader** ,” he fumed.

Rey kept her head down, knowing that if she looked up, she might break her persona.

“Why?” he crowed. “Why don’t you trust me? Am I that similar to Darth Vader? Am I that much of a lost cause?” Rey shook her head, Leia’s greyed hair falling from the updo hairstyle that seemed to fit the Senator. “Is this all my fault? Do you blame me for everything that’s happened? With you and dad?”

Throughout this whole ordeal, Rey had never asked about Ben’s dad and Leia’s husband. She knew of Han Solo to some extent, and it never seemed necessary to ask Leia about him. She shook her head again with more of her words muffled.

“Show me. Everyone has said that it’s not my fault and that you love me. Show me, show me that you do. Show me that you don’t think I’m a lost cause.” He stomped across the room and dropped low, hand on chin and forced her to look at him. “ _Show me_.”

Whether it was what she was hearing or because she knew that this would be the last time she saw Ben, Rey’s eyes became moistened. A tear rolled down her cheek when she blinked, eyes connected as she pushed forward a memory she prepared for him. His eyes widened as they watched it play out.

“Ben. My darling baby Ben. My little angel.”

Brown hair flowing down her shoulders, Leia held the bundle in her arms close to her, humming and smiling as she rocked her child.

“Mirrorbright, shines the moon,” she sang, Leia’s voice calming Ben who watched on. “Its glow as soft as an ember.”

“ _What is this?_ ” Ben asked, his voice echoing through the memory he could not seem to pull away from.

A small hand came up from the bundle, so small with small fingers, groping the air like it needed something. Leia stopped humming and leaned her head down, face close enough for her baby to touch her cheek. She smiled, radiant like the sun, but it disappeared in an instant when they touched. She pulled her baby away from her, holding him at eye level to examine him.

“ _What are you doing?_ ” His voice seemed to crack, vulnerable to the memory and its contents. “ _I was just a child. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t my fault._ ”

Instead of the memory ending, it continued on with Rey fabricating scenes for Ben to see. Scenes that he _needed_ to see.

The horror and fear that was on Leia’s face melted away, her smile back in place as she brought her baby close to bump noses. “You’re going to be cheeky, just like your father. You’re too good for me. I hope you take after your father’s family, not mine. My little bandit.”

Ben was ripped from the memory, eyes refocusing so that the Leia’s aged brown eyes came swimming into view. “You…?” His shaky hand came up to paw at the cloth stuffed in her mouth. “You never blamed me? You didn’t hate me?” Rey shook her head weakly. “It’s not me that wasn’t good enough. You thought _you_ would never deserve me? Mama?”

Rey nodded minutely, body shaking. Clarity ebbed into Ben’s eyes, relief and a freedom he yearned for as the idea took hold.

She didn’t even have a chance to prepare herself, maybe memorise his face once again, when she blinked and was back in the small cockpit of Luke’s shuttle. Her hand was still on Ben’s shoulder, still asleep and still oblivious to what she had done to him. She looked to the side and saw Luke and Leia awake, confused with questions at the tip of their tongues.

Rey fished the book from within her clothes and pressed it into Luke’s slack hand.

It was done.

 


	11. The Memories

Rey sat on her bunk with her forearms resting on her knees. The outside world beyond her small apartment was busy, like always. Coruscant never slept.

With the money she was given for the job, Rey was able to rent a small room in the lower levels of Coruscant. She had entertained starting afresh on a green planet somewhere, but the thought of stepping foot into a field only made her heart ache.

She knew it was weird that, of all places to restart on, she chose one of the lower levels of Coruscant. There was no sunlight, the level she resided on too low for any warmth to reach. It was fine; she had had a lifetime of sun on Jakku anyways. Now, she was constantly surrounded by artificial luminescent lights, but she knew if she ever needed a break then she could just fly to the next planet to feel the sun on her skin once more. She had the _choice_ to do so and that thought alone made her toes curl.

The Coruscant underworld wasn’t the most savory place to be and yet, Rey couldn’t seem to care. She had been a scavenger all her life, surrounded by dishonest creatures and those who only looked out for themselves; this was the most comfortable environment she could be in without becoming a scavenger again.

She liked how simple it was. She wasn’t a fool; despite having more than enough credits to live a life of luxury, she knew how to ration and not be wasteful. The last thing she wanted was to flaunt her credits and paint a target on her back.

With her old scavenger’s clothing hidden in a box under her bunk, Rey stepped onto the dark streets, clad in nondescriptive pants, a shirt with a vest over it, and a jacket on top of that. It was chillier than what she was used to, and she pulled her jacket closer to her body.

Since Jakku, she wanted to be able to try everything she was couldn’t have otherwise. She would visit a different establishment each meal, but there was always one that she gravitated to. As she slid into the barstool of the bar she frequented once a week, she looked directly across to where a bell-shaped flower was framed behind the counter. The bar had multiple framed flowers, but the lights’ purple hue made the yellow flower stand out to her. It looked so much like the field she and Ben loved in his dreams.

“The usual?” the bartender asked, filling a glass with a clear liquid before Rey could even reply.

Rey accepted her drink and went back to snacking on the morsels that were offered to patrons, still staring at the flower on the wall. A new group of customers bustled in, loud and raucous, with one loudly dropping in a nearby stool. The group chattered about nothing, but the datapad that was slapped down on the counter caught Rey’s eye.

**_The Rise of The New Jedi Order_ **

Without looking suspicious, she inched closer, trying to catch the words written underneath. It took a while but her eyes finally zoned in on a few words: Ben Solo, Jedi, powerful, successor, Jedi Master.

The sound of footsteps made her snap back to the framed flower, eyes unmoving as she nonchalantly took a sip of her drink.

“It’s a sunblossom, ya know.”

“What?” Rey turned to the bartender who rested his elbow on the counter, body turned towards the frame.

“Sunblossom. You always seem so fixated on it.”

“Sorry, it just reminds me of someone.” She lifted the glass to her lips, busying herself in hopes that the bartender would stop talking to her.

“Hopefully it’s someone good for you. Sunblossoms, while very pretty, can be used to extract poison from a wound. Medical droids grind the flower to extract its medicinal properties, so it would be ironic if the person you associate that flower with was toxic.” With that said, the bartender tended to another customer, leaving Rey to her thoughts.

She shoved some bread into her mouth, chewing it violently as she thought back to her time with Ben. No, he wasn’t toxic in any way. He meant well. He was just lost but seemed to have found his place in the galaxy at last.

She was happy for him.

It didn’t stop her from missing him.

-

Months passed, with Rey’s life eventually becoming routine. She started working at a small mechanic on a level below hers, her skills from scavenging becoming useful at last. The owner kept to himself, never poking into her personal life. It was like the unspoken rule between them - keep your head down and work and everything would be square. This more than suited Rey.

Her workplace wasn’t in the heart of the underworld, so when a past customer walked in one day, throwing insults at her and insinuating that she did a poor job, Rey looked to her boss for advice. However, the owner kept to himself and didn’t even look up from his small station. She knew that if she _had_ messed up, then compensation would be taken out of her wage. Rey gritted her teeth and held her ground.

“I want my credits back!” The customer shoved her, making Rey almost trip over her feet.

“Let me take a look at it.” Without the customer’s consent, Rey pushed past towards the shiny airspeeder that was parked in the loading dock. The customer growled but relented, scowling as Rey performed her routine checks.

It didn’t take long for her to figure out the problem.

Wrenching off the gloves from her hands, she threw a dirty look at the customer. “Your compressor has been damaged, but I didn’t put a compressor in your airspeeder. This ship has no need of one.” Rey stomped towards the burly customer and stabbed her finger into his chest. “If you add a compressor to this ship, then it will malfunction the way it is now. But you knew that already, didn’t you? Did you really try to scam me just then?”

“How _dare_ you? _You_ did this to my ship!” The customer sized her up and towered over her.

Rey pulled the compressor at fault from her pocket. “See this here? The type of compressor is something from a second rate chop shop, something we do not provide here. Take your problems back to wherever you got this from, or better yet, try not to sabotage your own airspeeder in hopes of getting your credits back!”

The customer didn’t say a word, only clapping a large hand on her small shoulders and squeezing painfully. The moment he did so, Rey elbowed his gut suddenly, knocking the air from his lungs in shock. She ripped her shoulder from his grasp and grabbed a stray durasteel rod. She spun around with the edges of her worn jacket flapping in the wind, violently swinging and jabbing the rod at the customer. The man grunted, wounded and finally collapsed when Rey delivered a kick to his midsection.

She panted, mouth twisted into a snarl with her teeth bared. “Get. Up.” Her cold eyes drilled holes into the fallen man. “Get. Up,” she repeated, firmer.

The man whimpered. “I’m sorry! Leave me alone!”

_Clang!_

Instead of letting him go, Rey swung her rod and narrowly missed the man. “Not until you learn.” Just as as she raised her arm to strike again, a firm hand grabbed onto the rod. Rey turned, ready to bark at whoever interfered but softened when her boss stood behind her, a frown etched onto his face.

“Get out,” her boss commanded, small beady eyes still focused on Rey as the snivelling man stumbled away. “This is not how we do things here.”

Rey dropped the rod as if she was burnt. “I—” She didn’t know what she was meant to say, guilt ebbing into her mind at what she had done and was about to do.

“Make sure it doesn’t happen again,” the old mechanic groused, returning to his station.

Rey nodded, lips pressed together with her head hung low with shame. As she returned to whatever she was tinkering with beforehand, her boss’ voice echoed throughout the small dock.

“Where did you learn how to fight like that? It was unlike anything I had seen.”

-

Rey sat in her usual spot, her bottom teeth tapping against the glass that was pressed against her lips. Her visits to the Flower Bar, as she dubbed it in her mind, became more than once a week, stopping by whenever she felt like it. There weren’t many customers that day, but the bartender left her alone, a look of worry and concern on her face to ward off anyone.

She thought back to what transpired at the chop shop. Her other hand flexed and relaxed, imagining the feel of the rod in her grasp and how _right_ it felt.

Where _did_ she learn to fight like that?

She huffed, earning a look from a nearby customer. With only wielding a quarterstaff all her life, Rey shouldn’t have been able to fight with such a different weapon, and yet, she did. She threw her head back, the bitter liquid sliding down her throat before tossing a few credits on the counter.

It seemed that being inside Ben’s dream had lasting effects.

-

A soft patter outside her window woke her up one morning. Her eyes snapped open, bolting up and craning her ears to identify the noise.

 _Rain_.

Without sparing another moment, she threw her covers back and ran out of her small flat without throwing on warmer clothes or even shoes. It mattered little to her as she burst out into the cold, jumping into the closest puddle she saw. Her toes wriggled, enjoying the feel of water with dirt mixed into it. It was still early in the morning and there was no one about, so she jumped around, splashing water everywhere as her clothes started to get soaked.

It was so amazing how realistic Ben’s dream was, only seeing and feeling rain for the first time now. Her fingers rubbed together as she spun around, droplets rolling from the tip of her nose to the curve of her mouth. Her tongue darted out to catch the water, turning around with her mouth open.

“Why don’t you try it—”

Rey froze, arms still hovering in the air. There was no one around, no one behind her. Her arms slowly dropped to her side, hair becoming plastered to her skin. A cold that was unlike any other crept into her chest, wrapped itself around her heart and squeezed.

She ran inside, not caring for the foot-shaped puddles that she left behind.

She avoided going outside whenever it rained from that point on.

-

A noisy couple drew Rey from her thoughts at the bar. She didn’t mean to gawk at them but as their hands roamed each other in the most lewd way possible, she couldn’t help but stare. Instead of being disgusted, butterflies seemed to flutter in her stomach.

_With his clothing crumpled tightly in her fist, she pulled him close, lips never leaving his. She needed him like she needed water and air. She felt him tense under her firm grip, only for his body to slacken and ease into her warmth. His hands came up and cupped her cheeks, the tips of his fingers kneading into her hairline. His tongue slipped past her lips and she sighed, heart in her throat and heart crawling up her stomach._

_When they broke apart, lips red and glistening, she felt like she was high above the ground; she felt weightless. Cheeks of rose, Rey opened her eyes, dazed and languid with a small smile. Ben matched her face, eyes relaxed and glittering._

A cough broke through her thoughts, the couple looking at her with raised brows but still pressed against each other. A heat rose to her cheeks as she buried her face in her meal.

-

Rey swung her backpack over her shoulder, smiling as she left the bargain markets. While she could work on any ship she wanted to at the chop shop, she missed fiddling with small bits and pieces in her alone time. As she stood outside the derelict markets, Rey pondered where to go next, her day off still young and full of potential.

A family with a small boy happened to walk by, the boy wailing with fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

“It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t mean to!”

Rey shrunk into the shadows, flinching at the sound of the child’s cries. She clapped her hand over her mouth, small wheezes escaping her lips as she breathed deeply through her nostrils. It wasn’t until the boy faded from her hearing that she calmed down slightly, but not much.

She ran in the opposite direction, towards nowhere with the nerves in her body buzzing. Her bag smashed into passersby but she didn’t care. She felt so lost.

-

_“I didn’t mean to! It wasn’t my fault!”_

Rey’s eyes shot open with sweat dripping down her temple. She couldn’t move a muscle, paralysed from the voice that rattled her brain. Darkness bathed her room but she could almost see his face dance before her. The pain and anguish and mourning.

She had dreams of him before, it only made sense with what she had been through, but she always felt so light and blissful when she woke up from them. They were always snippets of their time together, in the field of yellow sunblossoms or in the crystalline lake or with dirt smeared against their hands as they climbed trees. Pleasant times.

But now, she couldn’t conjure any happy memories of him. Each time she tried to think back to Ben, the distressed image of him floated into view. She wanted to see him smile, not frown with tears glistening in his eyes.

She turned over, wrapping her sheets tighter around herself, her eyelids pressed together. She tried so hard to remember how she laughed with him, running through the fields together or the one time they swam together, but all she saw was the tear streaked face of a child. Everything around him disappeared, leaving him alone in the darkness, only illuminated by a single light. He looked so small and vulnerable, wailing with his mouth wide open.

“Ben,” she wept as she curled inwards into a ball.

-

Her heavy eyes stared unseeing at the yellow flower. If she had the energy, much less the audacity, she would jump over the counter and rip it from the wall. Alas, her weary body would not allow it.

“Whoa, what happened to you? Haven’t seen you in a while.” The bartender cautiously approached her, her usual drink in hand.

“Long nights,” she rasped, taking a swig from her drink and relishing at the cool liquid sliding down her throat.

“I’ll say. ‘Ey, I’ve been meaning to ask, but what’s with the flower?” he asked, pointing at the Sunblossom. “It’s been a year and you always look at it. There are other flowers here. You said it reminds you of someone but whoever they were, they don’t seem to be doing you good.”

“It’s...” Rey paused, searching for the right word. “Difficult. It’s difficult.”

She must have done something to offend the bartender since he grunted and walked away, leaving her to wallow in her sorrows alone.

_“—Sunblossoms, while very pretty, can be used to extract poison from wounds.”_

Poison.

This was poisonous.

Her memories of him were poisonous.

It needed to stop.

-

Rey’s legs wouldn’t stop shaking. Remnants of tissue scattered over her lap, slightly damp from her hands. She had already gone through three tissues, all wrung until they were nothing but a past distraction.

Today was the day where she would leave everything behind.

Today was the day where she would be free.

She cast an ad out only a few days beforehand, asking for anyone who was experienced in memory manipulation. It was risky, given what she wanted to erase, but she put in special measures that if done properly, the ball of bundled memories would vanish before anyone could decipher what was inside. It saddened her that this was what it came to, but she had to move on. She couldn’t live like that anymore.

Someone replied to her ad surprisingly quickly, face hidden and voice muffled on the holo through which they communicated. Understandable, since this was something not many people could perform and she could see why it wasn’t more widely broadcast. People feared the unknown and tampering with memories was something that would create panic.

Rey glanced at the chronometre by her bed; her guest was due to arrive at any moment. With some luck, residual cognition from the memory wipe should be enough for her to find her way back to Jakku. She already contacted Plutt, much to her displeasure and his, asking to become a scavenger once more. Of course, he was furious at her sudden transmission and would have ignored her if not for the handsome sum of credits she bribed him with.

She chuckled; she wouldn’t be surprised if he forbade any mention of her at Niima Outpost. She _did_ run off without a word, but her generous amount of credits would silence any complaints from him. Hopefully when she returned, it would be like she never left. One could only hope. She wanted things to go back to the way it was before _Ben_.

_Thump, thump, thump!_

Rey jumped to her feet, taking a few shaky breaths to calm her stomach before opening the door.

She froze.

She wanted to cry.

“Rey?”

A tear threatened to slip down her face. He sounded just like she remembered.

Ben Solo, now a Jedi Master, stood on her doorstep, clad in dark robes. He had an air of confidence and arrogance that was akin to when she first met him. Her hand itched to reach for him but she forced herself to keep still.

“You’re Rey, right?”

She nodded numbly, not trusting her voice, and stepped aside to let him in. Maker, why him? A part of her knew though, who else would answer her call with the skills she needed?

“Hey, don’t cry. I’ll be gentle.” Tears fell freely as Ben continued. “I know it’s a shock. Why would a Jedi involve themselves in such matters?” He laughed, making Rey’s heart skip. “My master would not approve, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“It’s not that,” she stuttered, shuffling her weight between her feet. He cocked his head to the side and Rey squeezed her eyes shut, lest she reveal everything. “I just need to put some memories behind me. The credits are on the table so you can take them when you are done. You don’t need to stay around to make sure it worked. Regardless, the credits are yours.”

Ben’s brows knitted together. “What’s to stop me from just making you pass out and take your credits?”

She felt her throat constrict. “Because...you’re a Jedi. You’re _good_.”

He hummed, pretending to mull over her compliment. “Fair enough. Are you ready?” He moved in front of her until only a small space separated them. “I’ll be gentle,” he whispered again. “Just hold still.”

Rey set her jaw and steeled herself. She forced herself to calm down and looked straight ahead at his robes. She licked her lips, a heat brewing inside her that she wished to leave. How she wanted to reach up and touch him. “Okay, I’m ready.”

She could feel the warmth radiating from his hand as it touched her temple. The pressure from his thumb calmed her nerves somewhat but the moment it did, she felt the bundle of memories slowly trickle, out of mind and out of sight.

She blinked.

She was alone. And lost. Where was she?

Rey whipped her head around, confused as to where she was. She looked down at her strange clothing and became more quizzical when she saw a set of numbers scrawled on her forearm. She squinted at the digits, trying to decipher the code but became distracted when she spied a set of keys on the table. Her body seemed to move on its accord, hands reaching out for the keys and her feet leading to a small shuttle.

It felt right.

Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of her clothes in the cockpit, thrown haphazardly in a pilot’s seat. Her mind felt fuzzy, but she didn’t question anything. She merely changed into her familiar clothes and punched in the numbers on her arm, instinctively knowing that it would lead her back to Jakku.

As she sped through the levels of the unknown planet, something echoed in the back of her mind. A deep voice belonging to a man she didn’t know.

“ _Hey, don’t I know you?_ ”

-

A droid’s noise made a twenty-six year old Rey look up from her meager meal. With her quarterstaff in hand, she followed the beeps, its distress only making her run faster.

It was coming from a BB unit trapped in a net by a Teedo riding a Luggabeast.

“Tal'ama parqual!” she yelled, making the BB unit and Teedo freeze.

 


	12. The Dreams

_“Hey, don’t I know you?”_

Ben Solo sat in his shuttle, watching as the odd girl with three buns and a faraway look in her eyes wander to the shuttle docked next to his. She told him to leave when he was done but he was checking his credits when she appeared. Something felt off.

Once her shuttle sped out of the hanger, Ben remained in his seat, wracking his brain to remember where he had seen her before. With Luke? At the markets? Random offworld mission? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pinpoint it.

Catching sight of the time, he cursed under his breath and sped off. He didn’t have time to think about strange girls with peculiar hairstyles.

-

“What’s that?”

Ben startled at Luke’s voice behind him and looked down at what he was doing. He didn’t even realise he was drawing something in the sand, much less of a stick figure with three buns on its head. “Huh,” he said, forefinger and thumb rubbing the sand between his fingers. “My mind must have gotten away from me. What did you need, Master? Master?”

Luke’s eyes snapped to Ben’s face, a frown marring his otherwise calm demeanor. “Sorry, it was just unexpected to see that.”

“What, this?” Ben let out a laugh. “Why, Master?”

“I never took you to draw, Ben.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t realise what I was doing. It doesn’t matter.” He passed his hand over the sand and destroyed the drawing. “What’s on your mind?”

Ben tilted his head to the side, confused as to why Luke looked so disturbed by his terrible drawing. He would offer an explanation but what he did in his spare time was most probably against the Jedi Order. He remembered Luke heavily emphasising on the sensitive nature of tampering memories. It stuck out as odd to him; why would he stress the importance of memories so much?

Ben guessed that was when his mild obsession with memories started. Who could blame him? After all, Luke had told him he was a natural with ‘Jedi mind tricks’.

-

He didn’t remember when exactly it happened but one day he woke up and there was no voice in his head. He could barely remember what it said in the first place. One day, he just felt _lighter_.

Now that he was a Jedi Master, he had more free time on his hands. He visited his parents on Hosnian Prime, the pair of them always lighting up when he caught them unaware.

“Hey, kid,” Han said, pulling him into a hug with a thump on the back. “Can’t stay long, you know how the races are.”

“Yeah, Dad,” Ben said with a grin on his face. “Yeah, I know.”

“Catch you guys later.” He dropped a kiss on Leia’s cheek and rushed out.

Ben gave his mother a quick hug before moving around her to the sink, flicking the tap so that it filled the basin. He proceeded with washing the small pile of dishes, humming lightly as Leia perched on a nearby stool.

“What’s that tune you’re always singing?” Leia asked, pouring herself a glass of water.

Hands immersed in bubbly water, Ben paused and thought for a bit. “I’m not sure. It’s been stuck in my head for a while actually. I must have heard it on Coruscant or Corellia.”

“Ah yes, how is the New Republic?”

“Well, I might be biased, but I don’t think it’s doing very well since you left.” He chuckled as he drained the water. “If I can look past you hiding my grandfather and what it meant, they should too. You’ve done nothing but good for this galaxy.”

“I’m sorry again, Ben.” Leia slid off her stool and leaned against the counter next to the sink. “I mean it. I should have told you about Darth Vader, but I was scared of what you would think.”

“It’s fine. It was seven years ago, it’s all in the past.”

Leia laid a hand on his arm, stopping him from continuing to wash the dishes. “No, it wasn’t right of me to do that. You didn’t need to learn that from the HoloNet.”

Ben shrugged and gave her a reassuring smile. “And I told you a million times before, it’s fine. I understand why you did it.”

“You’re too good for me,” she mumbled, resting her head on his upper arm.

Ben pressed his lips into her greying hair. “Stop saying that. You deserve good things. The Senate will come around eventually.”

She murmured something into his sleeve and watched him finish the dishes.

-

_“Well, you must have seen me somewhere if I’ve taken this shape. Does my form bother you?”_

Ben bolted upright in his bed, panting with perspiration dripping from his brow. He gingerly touched his scalp, as if any sudden movements might trigger something unpleasant.

Who was she? She sounded familiar.

He dropped back in his bed, tossing and turning for the rest of the night but unable to go back to sleep.

-

With two other Jedi Knights, Ben sped through the stars to the Inner Rim territories. “Remember, we just need to pick up some bacta supplies from one of Master Skywalker’s associates and that’s it. No loitering around and hopefully we’ll be home in time for dinner,” he called behind him, gripping the steering wheel as he navigated through the atmosphere of Thyferra.

The tepid climate was a pleasant surprise, having never been to Thyferra until now. As he led the pair of fellow Jedi through the forest to the bacta compound, he heard the low rumble of thunder in the distance. A few seconds passed before wetness fell on his nose.

He reached up and swiped the droplet, only proving futile when several more fell from the skies. The other Knights grumbled, throwing their hoods over their heads as they continued past Ben. The tall man remained motionless, hand outstretched to catch as many raindrops as he could.

Eventually, one of the Jedi Knights stopped and turned back to check up on Ben. “Master Solo?”

Ben vaguely heard someone call out to him but was too concerned with watching bits of water gather and roll off the skin of his hand. What was he doing? “It’s raining,” he breathed, turning his hand over to collect more rain.

“Master!”

Ben visibly jolted and pressed his hand to his side in embarrassment. He turned with a snap and stormed past the Knights, refusing to acknowledge the weird behaviour he was exhibiting. “Come on,” he said gruffly, bumping shoulders without an apology.

-

It became a routine thing for Ben to visit his parents and help out around the house. It wasn’t something that was normally done, what with droids being available, but he felt the need to use his hands. Cleaning and washing or even fixing any droids that needed maintenance, anything to quench the incessant urge to use his hands.

He would hum to himself, the same tune that repeated in his head as he busied himself.

“ _Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_ ,” he sang softly, barely audible from the small gap between his lips.

A crash made him whip around, not expecting to see his mother standing in the doorway, hand cupped in the air with glass shattered across the floor. Leia remained frozen as Ben jumped to his feet, the Force already at his fingertips as he floated the shards to the trash compactor.

“Be careful,” he chastised, taking her hand in his. “Do you need any bacta?”

“N-No,” Leia stuttered, looking at him weirdly. “Where did you hear that song?”

“What song?”

It was a rare occasion hearing his mother sing, but when she did, it lifted his spirits and banished any negativity within him. “Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember,” she sang, eyes locked on him. “I sang it a lot when you were still a baby.”

“Huh,” Ben mused. “I guess I heard it somewhere recently and remember it?”

Leia frowned. “Maybe. It was a popular song on Alderaan.”

At the mention of his mother’s destroyed homeworld, a thick tension descended between them. Ben shuffled, not sure what to do to comfort his mother.

“Do you want to hear the rest of the song?”

Ben perked up at the suggestion. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”

“My voice might destroy the lullaby but I’ll do my best from what I remember.”

-

_“Remember, this is all a dream.”_

_“Yes, this is a dream.”_

It was no longer a shock to have dreams of nonsensical scenes. Ben laid in bed, eyes unseeing as he replayed her voice back. It was almost like she sounded like that woman whose memory he had wiped, but that was impossible.

She was a total stranger.

He didn’t know her.

Right?

-

“Ben!” Luke called out to his nephew who sat high in a tree. “Get down here! How did you even get up there? Ben!” Luke quickly jumped out of the way as Ben landed with a resounding thud.

Shrugging, he started to gather the rope in his arms. “I don’t know, I sort of learnt it, I guess?”

“Hmm.”

“Master? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

-

_“Don’t do that!”_

_“But look! You’re swimming! See, I told you you could do it!”_

_“That’s besides the point!”_

_“You wound me—”_

“Rey.” He didn’t realise he had spoken out loud but now that he was awake, his voice was unbearably loud. Rey. Her name was Rey. Just like that strange girl with three buns.

What was happening?

-

“Master, I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time.” Ben stepped through the threshold of his uncle’s hut, only to be greeted by silence and nothing else. “Huh, I wonder where he is.”

Figuring he could just wait until his Master returned, Ben made himself comfortable on his bed. With arms high above his head, he stretched and cracked his neck, a content sigh escaping his lips. His hands swung around and landed on a random part of the bed, hitting something solid under the covers.

With piqued curiosity, Ben pulled the sheets back and found a small book with faded writing.

**Dreamscape**

Strange. Ben flipped through the pages, font too small for him to quickly read. It looked interesting, so he slipped it into his robes just as Luke returned. “Master, I’ve been waiting for you. I wanted to ask…”

-

_“I’m glad I stayed. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have met you.”_

_“But I am you.”_

_“I don’t care.”_

Ben gasped for air, lungs burning as if he was suffocating. This was more vivid than the rest. He swallowed thickly, still confused from all the dreams, and skulled the water on his bedside table. When he replaced his cup, his hands grabbed the small book that innocently sat there.

There was no hope for sleep now, so might as well read to pass the time.

-

_“I’m glad I met you.”_

**_“I wish we had more time.”_ **

“Rey!” His mouth was open in a silent scream, his voice faded before he realised he yelled anything. Something wasn’t right. His head felt so heavy and thick, he didn’t know what was wrong.

He tossed and turned in his bed, a dull throb to his head preventing him from returning to sleep. With a frustrated growl, he grabbed the book and sat up in his bed.

Dreamscape.

It was an interesting read, totally theoretical and not at all believable. Ben rolled his eyes, but kept reading anyways. It was impossible, but he couldn't seem to put it down. His finger flicked through the pages until he got to his dog eared corner. It was the chapter about potential uses of Dreamscape abilities.

_The talent for going into other's dreams is rare and not to be trifled with. The Force heightens the ability to manipulate dreams, but only a special few can immerse themselves in a dream and bring others along. It is dangerous to attempt such feats, as the guests within the dream could get lost and lose touch with reality. The longer one stays in a dream, the more dangerous it is for them, with more chance of altering one's memories. In theory, a dreamwalker could leave behind an impression that could alter the host's memories._

“Alter...one’s memories…” Ben trailed off, sudden dread creeping up on him. “No, it can’t be.” He flung the book across the room and buried himself in his blankets once more.

He shivered at the prospect of having tampered memories.

-

_“I was just a child. I didn’t mean to do it. I trained so hard for so long, hoping that I could make Mom proud and love me, but now I know who Vader is. He destroyed Mom’s homeworld. He was a monster, and despite this, she thinks I’m like him? Am I?”_

_“No, you’re not. You’re different. You’re her son.”_

_“Vader is her father, he is family, and yet she still hates him. Family means nothing. The voice always wanted me to leave Luke’s academy, to make a life for myself, away from them.”_

The second time in one night, Ben’s eyes snapped open. His shallow breaths were all that he heard in the silence of his room. His body felt numb, as if it wasn’t his anymore. In a way, it wasn’t. What was real anymore?

**‘ _I know what is real, Ben Solo_.’**

Ben jolted at the sudden voice in his head. It had been so long since he heard it that he almost though it to be a dream. He scoffed, finding the irony of thinking the voice was a dream when he couldn’t even trust them anymore.

**‘ _I know what has been done. Eventually, all your memories will come back and everything will be clear as day. When that time comes, you will have to decide what you will do. Will you stay, or will you go?_ ’**

The voice unnerved him but given the circumstances, it was the only thing he could trust.

Ben looked outside and saw a faint smear of the sun across the sky. When morning came, he would get the answers he wanted, if it was the last thing he did.

-

“Uncle.” Ben watched as Luke looked at him in shock; he was rarely addressed as anything other than Master these days.

“Ben?”

“I actually wanted to return this to you. To say it was an interesting read is an understatement.” He carefully watched Luke’s reaction as he threw the book at his feet. Luke’s eyes widened slightly before becoming stoic. Ben’s eyes narrowed; it was a technique he had seen many times. Luke only did that if he was hiding something. “You did this, didn’t you? You and Mom? Does Dad know about this?”

Luke remained silent, eyes hard and cold.

His heart picked up the pace as he marched to his uncle. “ **What did you do to me?** ”

Finally, he tilted his head upwards, but his eyes looked just beyond Ben’s face. Ben growled and bared his teeth at what he saw.

“It was for the best.” Luke flinched when Ben lit his lightsaber, the sound of soothing humming and the high pitched screech of his plasma blade slicing the air. “We’re sorry.”

“Sorry?!” Ben shrieked. “You changed my memories! You tampered with my mind! That was exactly the thing you always said never to do! And you went and did it! Do you and mom trust me so little?!”

“It was never about not trusting you—”

“Lies!” He sliced through a boulder, finding satisfaction in seeing it split in two. “Does Dad know? _Does he kriffing know!?_ ”

“No, Han doesn’t know anything. If he did, he would have stopped us. I regret that this is mainly my fault, I was not the proper mentor for you. Please, Ben, I—”

**“SHUT UP!** ” Luke’s mouth was forced shut by an invisible force. “You. Mother too. You were both afraid I would become like Darth Vader? That I would fall to the dark side? I have news for you. Your dreams are about to come true.”

-

Purple illuminated and bounced off the walls of the small bar he found himself in. He felt out of place but it seemed like the most sensible planet to return to. After all, Coruscant was where he met Rey.

“What can I get ya?” the bartender asked, an empty cup in hand and ready to be filled.

“Anything,” he growled, eyes drilling into the frame that hung on the wall before him.

“Hmm, you look like you could use some mulled wine.” There was a low rumble as the glass slid down the counter to Ben’s awaiting hand. “You’re the second person to be infatuated with that flower, ya know?”

“What?” Ben jolted at the words. “Who else?”

The bartender stroked his chin. “I haven’t seen her in a while, but she would come in all the time and just sit where you are sitting, staring at the flower while she had her meal. She had a peculiar hairstyle too.”

“Three buns?” Ben whispered, leaning forward until he slipped off his stool.

“Yeah, do you know her?”

“No, I don’t. Where is she?” Ben moved closer to the bartender, unnerving the employee.

“Dunno, man.”

“You do. Where. Is. She.”

“I said, I don’t know,” the bartender said gruffly but it was useless. A hand shot out and grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, pulling him over the counter. “Hey!”

“Where _is she_?”

“Let me go! Hey!”

Ben shoved him back over the counter and with the Force, slammed him against the wall of various colored bottles. There was a high pitched screech in his ears, so loud that he couldn’t hear anything. The bartender struggled as he was lifted off his feet. It was so easy to pin him to the wall, and even easier to squeeze his neck.

Various customers started running past him, screaming as they did so to get away from the struggle. Ben didn’t care, all he could think about was how this _man,_ this lowly _bartender_ , spoke to the girl, face to face and not within a dream.

The bartender's neck snapped like it was made of twigs.

-

It was quiet, something he should be thankful for, but it just made him furious. When there was silence, the memories came.

_“Now you’re quick to anger. Impatient.”_

He started to growl as echoes of memories came seeping back into his mind. The leather of his gloves squeaked, his fist in a tight ball as if to reel in his anger.

_“For example, when Luke used to train you, he gave you plenty of encouragement while you give none to the students you teach.”_

“GGGRRARGHHH!!” He flicked the switch of his new lightsaber, a humming red bathed his small room. He swung the saber, haphazardly cutting through the panels on the wall and not caring if the two crossguard blades sliced him.

He deserved it.

His swings were wild and untamed. It was hard to control his new lightsaber; even though there were two ventilation shafts to disperse the unstable plasma blade, the fact remained that his Kyber crystal was cracked.

He deserved it.

The Kyber crystal he meditated on for seven days. The Kyber crystal that once produced a vibrant green color, now produced an unstable, serrated red blade. Red, like blood.

Blood.

Ben screamed again, driving his saber deep into the wall until it wouldn’t budge. His palms became sore from how tight he was holding his hilt, the uneven surface pressing into his skin even through his gloves.

He deserved it.

No matter how much pain he endured, it would be nothing compared to the pain his fellow padawans felt as they were caught off guard and shot down.

-

He hated himself. He hated himself and everything around him.

There was a buzz in his ears, loud and distracting. Ben growled; he found it ironic that he wished the voice would return, but there was no need for it to speak in his mind. No, there was no need when Ben could speak directly to the person that was responsible for it.

He looked old and decrepit. Age had gotten the better of him, with scars running over his pallor face and large pockets of dents in his scalp. Snoke was his name and he told him what had happened. How his mom and uncle hired some nobody to plant an idea in his mind to prevent him from turning to the dark side. At the mention of that somebody, Ben froze, not daring to breathe.

“Memories can never be fully eradicated, only blocked. It was only a matter of time until you remembered. I did not aid you, you remembered on your own,” Snoke said as they walked side by side.

“There’s a buzzing,” Ben cut in. “There’s a constant buzzing in my head now.”

“Most probably a side effect of your brain being tampered with. I am unsure when it will stop but I have something that could be of some assistance.”

-

Ben—no, Kylo Ren, he reminded himself—sat in his bunk on the battlecruiser named the _Finalizer_. In his hands was a black helmet with silver lines around the area where his eyes would sit. Snoke told him that it would help with the buzzing, and it did to some extent, but it still felt odd. When brought aboard the _Finalizer_ , the mechanical breathing from his helmet was very distracting. The old man told him to keep his helmet on at all times in public and to never show his face.

He had seen pictures of Darth Vader on different holos, either from the HoloNet or from holoprojectors that Snoke had given him. He laughed when he first saw the helmet, the similarity and mockery clear as day. Of _course_ , the helmet he would be given would be like Darth Vader’s.

It was either a cruel joke or completely unintentional.

He knew it was the former.

-

He had been given the title Master of the Knights of Ren, a group of cult fanatics with a thirst for blood. Kylo rolled his eyes, the action safely hidden behind his mask. He could not care any less for whatever motivated them as long as they didn’t get in his way.

He needed to find the girl.

He needed to find Rey.

-

Snow crunched under his boots as he trudged through the the white planet. He was there to oversee the construction of the First Order’s new superweapon, something that Kylo found incredibly unnecessary. A ginger general was a few paces in front of him, listening  and nodding to the report being given by a few mechanics. General Armitage Hux was the best to come from the military training camp on Arkanis, and Kylo could see why. His face was always the same, stoic and cold and unwavering. There was an accident a few days earlier that resulted in numerous casualties and when Hux had found out about it, his cold eyes merely bored into the reporting lieutenant and with a dead voice, he asked, “Why was it necessary for me to be notified?”

Kylo couldn’t judge, though; he was no innocent in the war brewing between the New Republic and the First Order. He had killed bystanders, but the bloodlust that radiated off General Hux was unlike his. Kylo Ren was angry at the galaxy while General Hux wanted to crush the galaxy through order.

As long as they allowed Kylo to go about his search for the girl with three buns, he did not care what they did.

His eyes caught a patch of color, a few yellow petals sticking from under the snow. Yellow, like Sunblossoms. Yellow, like Rey.

“Ren!” Kylo ignored the indignant cry from the orange haired militant and stomped back to his shuttle. He didn’t want to spend more time on that planet than needed.

-

_Together, they sighed and fell amongst the flowers of the field, flattening the fragile plants with their weight. She laced her fingers with his and looked up at the sky, pointing at the various odd shaped clouds. It was childish and silly but sometimes, it was nice to pretend that life was that simple._

Kylo laid in bed with his hand erect above him. He turned his hand over, back and forth, flexing and clenching as if to hold onto an invisible hand.

“I wish we had more time,” he whispered to the silence of his room.

-

Years passed and Kylo Ren became more jagged and bitter. His tolerance for anything became non existent as he was reminded every day of his failed search. He needed to find her and see with his own eyes that she was real. That what they had was real.

The amount of damaged consoles did not put a dent in the First Order budget but it made everyone stay clear of him, the Knights of Ren included. No one wanted to deal with their leader’s wrath.

Good.

He had no time for them.

-

“Luke Skywalker may be the solution to your problem. Find him. Confront him. I have no doubt he knows where she is,” Snoke commanded, his small image projected on the holo in Kylo Ren’s hand.

Thus began the search for Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Master who disappeared the moment Ben Solo left his Jedi Academy.

It took a long time and several false leads, with consequences dealt, until a transmission came through of a map that could lead to Skywalker. The small fragment was in possession of a human male by the name of Lor San Tekka, who was hiding on the Outer Rim planet of Jakku.

Now at thirty-six years of age, Kylo felt the Force thrum through his bones and fill his being with something he had not felt in a long time. He had a good feeling about Jakku.

 


	13. The Flower

Kylo Ren stared down at the aged old man on his knees before him. It had been many years since he had last seen Lor San Tekka, only briefly meeting him when he was a child. “Look how old you’ve become,” he said, his mechanic voice making the old man flinch.

“Something far worse has happened to you.”

He breathed deeply, holding back his anger. That old man had no idea what happened to him or what was done to him. “You know what I’ve come for.”

The conversation continued, but something caught his attention. From the corner of his mind, there was unease and nervousness. He wanted to grab it with his hands and demand an explanation for it, but he had to find the piece of the map, first and foremost.

“The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not,” said San Tekka.

“I'll show you the dark side.”

“You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family.”

Kylo almost laughed outright. The lies the galaxy had been fed in regards to what happened to him were stacking up. He lit his lightsaber, the sound alone an indication of what was to come. “You’re so right,” he snarled, swinging his saber down on the old man who seemed resigned to his fate.

There was a scream of rage and Kylo chuckled at the recklessness of it all. Freezing the blaster in mid air was a simple feat, one that only brought chill to the Resistance fighter’s bones. Kylo could feel the the captured soldier’s disbelief and it only made his heart swell. While the prisoner was brought forward, his eyes slid to the suspended blaster beam that strained against its fixed state. It served as a gentle reminder of what he forgot. Of _who_ he forgot. After all, he wouldn’t have learnt that ability if it wasn’t for _her_.

After commanding Captain Phasma to kill the remaining villagers, he felt the doubt seep in once again. Amidst the fire and screams and blaster shots stood a lone Stormtrooper with three lines of red smeared over the helmet. Kylo narrowed his eyes and the Stormtrooper diverted his gaze. There, there it was. The origin of all those unnecessary feelings. The origin of the weakness. He could practically feel the Stormtrooper shake in his boots, knowing how doomed he was.

Kylo grinned and continued to his ship. Maybe that would be enough for FN-2187 to think twice before disobeying orders.

-

“He had help from one of our own,” General Hux said, clearly vexed. “We're checking the registers now…”

Kylo ignored whatever Hux was saying, mind zoning in on the source immediately. “The one from the village. FN-2187.”

 _Traitor_.

-

“My men are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth—”

Kylo cut General Hux off before he could finish his sentence, aggravated from hearing Hux mention ‘programming’. “Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid. Unharmed.”

General Hux stared at him with disgust shining in his eyes. “Careful, Ren. That your _personal interests_ not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke,” he insinuated.

The absolute gall almost made Kylo believe he misheard. “I want that map. For your sake, I suggest you get it.” When he saw General Hux’s clench his jaw, he knew that his threat was received. He brushed past the General, not caring about the intimidated man.

-

“The droid...stole a freighter?” He was starting to genuinely question the resources that the First Order seemed to have.

“Not exactly, sir. It had help.” Kylo waited, head crooked to the side as Lieutenant Mitaka wrung his hat with his shaking hands. “We have no confirmation, but we believe FN-2187 may have been helped in the escape—”

Kylo didn’t want to hear the rest of the pitiful report. He didn’t care for the First Order if they couldn’t accomplish the simple task of getting the droid. His lightsaber sliced into the console repeatedly, anger at the First Order’s incompetence fueling him. He breathed deeply, satisfied with the way the bright red slashes glowed on the First Order equipment. He flicked his lightsaber off with a _whoosh_ and clipped it back on his belt. Lieutenant Mitaka was still present. “Anything else?”

If Lieutenant Mitaka was worried before, he was absolutely terrified now. “The two were accompanied by a girl.”

Suddenly, the Lieutenant flew across the room and into Kylo’s awaiting grasp, Mitaka’s eyes darting everywhere as Kylo squeezed the column of flesh. He wanted to rip the answer right from his throat. “ _What girl_.”

-

“The droid will soon be delivered to the Resistance, leading them to the last Jedi. If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise.”

Again. The new Jedi would rise again. Kylo Ren wanted to correct Snoke, but kept his mouth shut. Despite being in the presence of Snoke’s looming holo, Kylo could not focus his full attention on him. He knew how dangerous it was, but his mind kept wandering back to what Mitaka told him. _Rey_.

Suddenly, Kylo tuned back into whatever was being discussed between Hux and Snoke. He turned to look at the General, not quite believing what he was hearing.

“The weapon. It is ready. I believe the time has come to use it. We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistance, the Republic. Without their friends to protect them, the Resistance will be vulnerable, and we will stop them before they reach Skywalker.”

“Go. Oversee preparations.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” General Hux shot him a look full of pride and disdain towards Kylo, as if to gloat, before leaving the chamber.

Kylo knew that his mother would not be anywhere in the Hosnian System; she had not returned there since he had left the Jedi Academy. A part of him knew that destroying the whole Republic was futile and excessive, but technically he was not part of the First Order. He knew full well that he was just riding on Snoke’s coattails, and by extension, the First Order. A long time ago, Snoke had told him he wished for a student with equal parts of darkness and light. How far could he push before Snoke realised that Kylo was not the one?

“There's been an awakening. Have you felt it?” said Snoke, voice reverberating through the chamber.

“Yes.”

“There's something more. The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father, Han Solo.”

Behind the mask, Snoke could not see the shock that flit across his face. “He means nothing to me,” he said, words dead in his mouth.

“Even you, master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test.”

He forced his hands to still, knowing that every minute movement would be analysed by Snoke. “By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.”

A stretch of silence was pulled between them, Snoke fixing him with a stony look as if to pull truths from his mind. “We shall see. We shall see.” A gentle, satisfied nod from Snoke was all he needed to get out of there, heavy footfalls echoing around him as his being became filled with obsession.

He had to find Rey before he was forced to face his father and be put to the ultimate test he never wished to take.

-

They had received word that the droid, along with the girl and the traitor were on the lush planet of Takodana. Hux left the _Finalizer_ , already calling to assembly all the staff that was currently on the icy planet that had become Starkiller Base. The name itself was so asinine and unnecessary, but he left it to their measures. Sitting in his room with minimal lighting, once again in silence, he stared at the object in his hands.

“Forgive me. I finally feel it again. The pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it. It’s only a matter of time. Show me again and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show yourself and I will finish what you started.” He paused, only to run his finger over the small flower that sat in his palm. He couldn’t feel the silky petals through his gloves but he thought back to how it felt under him, hands intertwined with Rey’s as they watched the clouds. “Rey,” he whispered before enclosing his hand around a Sunblossom.

-

Amidst the explosions and smoke, Kylo Ren’s eyes immediately locked onto the forest on the outskirts of Maz Kanata’s palace. His feet moved on his own, still watching the treeline. _There_. He could feel her. He would find her in the forest.

He vaguely heard a Stormtrooper telling him, “Sir, the droid was spotted heading west, with a girl.”

Not acknowledging the Stormtrooper, he moved towards the large trees, a memory sneaking into the forefront of his mind. It was in his dream, with Rey pulling him towards the trees with the intent of feeding him lies. He faltered in his steps, suddenly overcome with anger. It was a firm reminder of what she had done to him. Had she planned on seducing him to get closer to him? Kylo growled at the thought alone.

_“Remember, this is all a dream.”_

She had told him that herself. She had warned him and constantly reminded him that she wasn’t real. Some part of him knew as well, it was hard not to when sadness came to her eyes so easily, especially after he kissed her. Kylo licked his lips and continued into the forest. Would he be able to kiss her? Share a _real_ kiss with her? He could barely think straight.

 _There_. A flicker of sandy colored rags that she always had on in his dream, hair still up in that hairstyle that was just _Rey_. She looked terrified and for that, Kylo’s heart clenched. With a blaster held up in front of her, she stumbled backwards, hearing the mechanical breathing emitted from his helmet. He sensed Stormtroopers swarming into the forest, pressuring him to uphold his facade.

The way she flittered like a mouse at the sound of his lightsaber only made him close in on her; he had to get to her before she ran away again.

_Pew! Pew! Pew!_

Kylo deflected each blaster bolt with precision, defending himself from her frantic firing. Eventually, he froze her, hand outstretched to make sure she didn’t move. He just wanted her to _stop and listen_.

The Stormtroopers started coming closer and he wouldn’t be surprised if some could hear or see them.

Rey gasped and stared at him wide eyed. She looked so scared... _of him_. “The girl I've heard so much about,” he rasped, circling and memorising every bit of her. Her lip quivered, like she was about to cry. “The droid,” he continued, hearing the unmistakable footsteps of a First Order soldier. He whipped his lightsaber up and held it to her throat, making sure not to singe her in any way. “Where is it?”

Being so close to her, the _real_ her, he wanted to know. He _needed_ to know.

The moment he flicked his lightsaber off, he saw her visibly relax. He hated to do it, but his hand moved towards her, hovering in the air as he went into her mind. It was so easy, having had previous access to her mind. It was like her mind wasn’t even blocked against him. She cringed and squeezed her eyes as he entered her mind.

He searched and searched for any semblance of their time together but all he got was a black wall and recent memories. The Millennium Falcon, Jakku, _the traitor_ , his father…

The last image made Kylo recoil. He should have known—he _did_ know, but it didn’t stop the shock. He pushed past the image of Han Solo, his old man grinning at her resourcefulness with Chewbacca’s wookie laugh, and finally found it. The droid. And the map.

“The map. You’ve see it.” He touched her face, unintentionally at first but when the side of his gloved finger caressed her cheek, he felt the blood rush to his cheeks and renew his spirit. Suddenly, something glistening caught his eye. Tears.

She was crying.

 _No_.

Rey stared at him, tears running down her face and from her defiant eyes, eyes that screamed of hatred and anger and pain.

“Sir, Resistance fighters! We need more troops.”

He pulled back suddenly, away from her and he felt the immediate fear leave her. He wanted so bad to touch her face again but kept his arm firmly at his side. “Pull the division out. Forget the droid. We have what we need.” With a gesture of his hand, Rey’s head flopped to the side with her body following close behind. He caught her and held her in his arms, the muscles in his arms twitching at the very sight of her.

As he carried her through the forest and back to his command shuttle, he ignored all the looks being thrown his way by the Stormtroopers. It was an unusual sight, but necessary. Unlike with the Resistance pilot, he would not let another person lay a hand on her. They would not treat her with the care and respect she deserved. With her in his lap, he was still like stone for the entire journey back to the _Finalizer_.

-

He hoped she woke up soon. His legs were starting to cramp, but he would stay there for seven day cycles and seven night cycles if that was how long it took for her to regain consciousness. He didn’t want the first thing she saw to be his looming body and face obscured by a mask, so he crouched and waited.

He had brushed against her mind, the barest of caresses and realised something. Snoke’s words echoed in his mind: ‘ _Memories can never be fully eradicated, only blocked_.’ It should be no problem removing the barrier that surrounded her memories. After all, he was the one who put it there in the first place. All he had to do was wait for her to awaken, and with it, her true memories.

When she woke up, she was disoriented and struggled against her restraints. “Where am I?”

He paused for a long beat, deciding how best to respond. “You are my guest.”

“Where are the others?”

His nostrils flared slightly. “You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea.” ‘And I do not care,’ went unspoken.

She studied him, her eyes with the same amount of curiosity as when she was face to face with him that night. The night he kissed her. She was still fearful, but it was slowly fading.

“You still want to kill me?” he asked, wounded.

“That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

Curious. Kylo reached up and with a hiss, he unlatched his helmet and removed his mask. She was shocked. She didn’t expect to see his face, but still there was no recognition. “Tell me about the droid,” he commanded, diverting his eyes so he didn’t have to see a stranger’s eyes.

She looked forward too and with a monotonous voice, she drolled on, “He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator--”

He didn’t want that. He couldn’t go on with the charade. “Rey,” he whispered, barely loud enough but it shut her up all the same. His face was so close to hers. “Please.”

Her eyes darted to his face. He could tell she wanted to ask how he knew her name but her tongue was tied. Fear rolled from her in waves.

“You're so lonely...so afraid to leave…” He didn’t want to scare her but his walls were crumbling around him. He didn’t care about whatever truths flittered across his face, he just wanted her back. _His Rey_.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Head,” she gritted out, and her tears returned.

“I was never in your head. You were in mine.” The confusion and fear of what his words could mean was clear on her face. Her head shook slightly.

“No…”

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “Please, let me release you.” Her bindings snapped open and she practically fell from her position. She looked confused as he remained standing, motionless and waiting. “You are not my prisoner,” he explained.

At those words, she made a beeline for the door, throwing looks over her shoulder to make sure he wasn’t going to stab her in the back. Her hand was on the control panel that would set her free when she stopped, thinking and calculating. “You don’t want to kill me?” she asked, face still looking at the closed door.

“No, never.”

“Why?”

The words on his tongue were foreign to Kylo and frightened him more than anything in the galaxy, but without her, he knew he would be lost. “Because I love you.”

-

Rey turned and looked at the feared First Order soldier, not quite believing her ears. “What?” she squawked. It couldn’t be true. She didn’t know who he was, they had never met before. “What did you say?” she demanded.

“I love you.” He sounded so broken and weak. His lip trembled but didn’t make any move towards her.

“How? I don’t know you.”

“You do,” he whimpered. “We met once before, in a dream.”

_“Hey, don’t I know you?”_

Rey’s back smacked into the door, heart pounding in her chest at the soft voice in her mind. “Get out of my head!” Her feet shuffled backwards but she couldn’t go any further, so she collapsed to the ground. Her hands went over her head, shielding her from him. “Leave me alone!” No one loved her and no one looked at her like he did. _Who was he_?

“Rey, please, let me show you.”

Rey whimpered, curling inwards as his voice came closer. “I don’t know you,” she sobbed.

“You do. You feel it too. I know you do. Please, let me help you.” She felt him crouch in front of her, hands hovering over her head but he said nothing more. It was like he was waiting for her consent.

She popped her head up, almost smacking into his hovering hand, and watched him. He hadn’t spoken for the longest time, so quiet and patient that she had almost forgotten he was there. He was so close to her but at the same time, there was something uncomfortable about the space between them. What was it?

_Soft eyes with soft lips tilted upwards slightly. “I’m glad I stayed. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have met you.”_

_“But I am you, Ben.”_

Ben.

A shimmer of recognition seeped into her eyes and something shifted around them. In front of her for a moment was Kylo Ren then the next, Ben Solo, the boy who became so lost and distrusted by everyone around him. The boy who was judged before he even got a chance.

Her hand felt like it was on fire as she reached out and gingerly caressed Kylo’s face. “Ben?”

Something wet moistened her thumb. He was crying. “Rey.” He took her hand in his and kissed her palm, letting out a shaky laugh as he did so. “You remember.”

“A little.” She was still so confused. “I don’t understand.”

“I can help you. Please, will you let me?” Uncertainty must have flashed across her face since Kylo quickly continued. “It won’t hurt. Trust me?”

His eyes—they held so much emotion, more than any she had ever encountered and never aimed at her. Slowly, she nodded. “I trust you.”

-

She felt light, like a great weight was removed from her shoulders. With each memory, a burden was stripped off her shoulders. A soft melody seemed to play as every puzzle piece started to join together once more in her mind.

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_

_Those you have loved but are gone_

_Those who kept you so safe and warm_

_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_

_Those who have ceased to be_

_Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_

_Those you loved are with you still—_

_The moon will help you remember_

Slowly, Rey opened her eyes and immediately saw Kylo’s—no, Ben’s—worried face, apprehension visible throughout his body. Her body felt paralysed but slowly, the feeling came back to her fingers, arms, and eventually her whole body. “Ben.”

Relief flooded Ben as he broke out into a wide smile. “Rey.” He fisted his pockets and fished something out, holding his shaking and enclosed hand out to her. “Do you know what this is?”

One by one, his fingers pulled back to reveal a yellow flower with bell-shaped petals. A Sunblossom. The smile on Rey’s face matched his. “Yes, of course I do.”

“Sunblossoms,” he started, moving to hook the flower behind her ear. “While very pretty…”

“...can be used to extract poison from wounds,” Rey finished, hand coming up to take his. “Are you poisonous to me?”

“Not as much as you are to me.”

“Was our time together in your dream poisonous?”

Ben rubbed reassuring circles into the back of her hand. “The only poisonous thing from my dream was forgetting who you were.”

They grinned, their smiles stretching from ear to ear. “Can I kiss you?” she asked, closing the space between them before he replied.

“Kriff yes,” he mumbled as she crashed into him, arms flung around his neck to hold him close.

The kiss was even better than she remembered. While his lips were soft and he was full of trepidation as in his dream, she took charge and kissed him hungrily. She needed him like she needed air and water. She slid into his lap and preened at his strong arms snaking around her waist.

At the back of her mind, she knew that it was not the best place to be for such an occasion. They were in the middle of a First Order ship where anyone could walk in on them at any moment. It only made her kiss him with more ferocity. She missed him so, so much.

Finally, they broke for air, Rey catching his bottom lip between her teeth and pulling gently. He winced but beamed all the same. He snapped his teeth at her, playfully, before burying his head in the crook of her neck. “I have so much blood on my hands, Rey.”

“I know,” she whispered, petting his soft hair lightly. “I know.”

“Do you still want to be with me?” he asked, his breath tickling her skin.

“I do. After all, I’m partly to blame.”

Ben pulled back and regarded her seriously. “It wasn’t your fault. I left Luke and the First Order came and destroyed the Academy because of that.”

Rey smiled sadly. “But if it wasn’t for what I did, you wouldn’t be so manipulated that you had to leave.”

“It’s not your fault.” Ben dropped a light kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“Neither of us are innocent in all this.”

“No, we’re not.” He continued to pepper her with kisses.

Rey gripped his shoulders and forced Ben to look at her. “So, what do we do now?”

Ben took her face in his hands, his thumb rubbing circles into her cheeks. “We could run. Steal a ship and never look back. Keep running until they stop chasing us.”

“But will they ever stop?”

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to be on the run with anyone else but you.”

Rey observed him seriously, knowing that her decision would define who she was. All her life, she waited on Jakku for someone who would never return. During her brief year on the Coruscant lower levels, she had made no headway towards finding her parents; she simply did not know where to look and lost all motivation to find them. Now, the potential was before her.

“Could you help me find my parents?” Her voice was weak and small, scared that Ben would turn her down.

He didn’t say a word, only capturing her mouth once more, tongue running along her bottom lip. “We can do anything, as long as we’re together. How does that sound?”

Rey’s eyes pulled at the sides and a brilliant smile shone on her face, a smile that Ben would never forget. “I’d rather like that,” she said, closing the gap between them once more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand that's it! I hope you enjoyed it! I would love to hear what you thought of it :D
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading as I update and leaving comments along the way ♥

**Author's Note:**

> inception: the beginning of something. the origin, start, source.


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